tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12719946.post4532290277553318489..comments2024-02-10T14:22:15.676+05:30Comments on WhatToNameIt: Rituals and etcChinmayi Sripada /Chinmayeehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00140920395019781614noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12719946.post-78197799562471207792014-11-17T20:47:23.954+05:302014-11-17T20:47:23.954+05:30Hi Chinmayi, Read some posts from your blog. I am ...Hi Chinmayi, Read some posts from your blog. I am so tempted to post my comments on this topic.Change alone is changeless. Soceity will change for the best as we become more cultured! The days are not far behind :) <br /><br />I would like to share an interesting custom of African people regarding dowry. I live in Joburg, SouthAfrica. Though many Africans follow Christianity, when it comes to wedding, they follow african culture in which the boy who wants to marry a girl must give what is known as "LOBOLA" or dowry. This used to be cows in the olden days and now-a-days they pay money. The amount is decided by the girl's family and if the boy cheats the girl then the value of the girl will go high. This system is followed by people across all strata. The boy will get all rights including children only when lobola is fully paid. At times they will end up not marrying because the money is not paid. This protects the dignity of the girl/ woman. They consider this as the commitment from the boy towards the wellbeing of the girl. <br /><br />When I knew about this custom I was awestruck especially coming from the background where I have heared of female infanticide and hatred for dowry reasons! The tables might turn in our country too :DPoornima Srinathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06802849505547887574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12719946.post-49794950356561897052013-11-07T13:33:41.806+05:302013-11-07T13:33:41.806+05:30Mindset of parents need to change for this. Even n...Mindset of parents need to change for this. Even now, while many next generation parents say they love girl child would still be longing for a boy, and feel family is complete only with a male heir. I have seen this with many of my friends, who have a girl child first and say they wanted a girl child only etc., but try to have a boy as second kid. And on other hand, friends who have got boy child do not look for a second kid as such & a baby girl in particular..<br /><br />Also, shouldn't boys be paying dowry, for girls are in short supply :)Krishnan NShttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18061064676007448614noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12719946.post-12125601305914494662013-11-04T15:51:34.576+05:302013-11-04T15:51:34.576+05:30I think the girl's families have to take their...I think the girl's families have to take their share of the blame. Why agree to marry someone by giving dowry in the first place ?!?!?! This means you effectively accept that you are inferior and the man is infact doing you a favour by marrying you ! Parents, who worry about a smoker or a drinker, hardly seem to notice that anyone who makes such unreasonable demands from them and wants to enjoy life based on someone else's hardship is not a decent human being ! If you have to sell your house and pay the money to convince someone to marry your daughter, then could you stop for one minute and wonder what your daughter has done to receive this sort of treatment from you as well as spend her life with a creep who expects this ?!Sowmya Gopalhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09801913358584597094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12719946.post-51816009326960248252013-11-04T10:58:46.803+05:302013-11-04T10:58:46.803+05:30First want to wish you a very Happy Diwali!
Even ...First want to wish you a very Happy Diwali!<br /><br />Even i have heard a lot of rituals surrounding the Thalai Deepavali...my office friends presented me with a 4 gm gold coin for my wedding and i gave it to my Mom to give it to my hubby for the Thalai Deepavali...my husband doesnt believe in all this but i remember MIL telling him to carefully bring the gold that my parents would gift him for Deepavali..<br /><br />Dowry has various legislation banning it but is still practised freely across various strata..as you rightly mentioned, most people treat a girl child as a burden...barring a handful of educated families, most perceive 2 daughters as a shame on the family...<br /><br />Hope our society changes for the better...Srihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06359168149304225844noreply@blogger.com