Sunday, October 29, 2006

The skies have opened up and decided to flood Chennai or so it seems.
Nice clean wet air .. and the city is all washed.. and of course flooded in most places.
On such days, you stay in, listen to your favorite music. Clean up .. organize things.. pretty good I say. There is a strange satisfaction in cleaning up and keeping things where they are supposed to be. Of course I am the primary messy person in the house. But when I do clean up, its pretty wonderful. I am not going to go all modest here. hehe
Even though a lot of things dont change in the world around you, and people are just the same, some days seem like the 'right' days. Everything is joyful, and pink and happy and pappy. Though I become very depressed on days when there is no sun and my mood is as dull and rained in as the weather outside, today was an exception. Probably my first for a pretty long time.
You just feel like smiling away. My best friend called. Spoke to her.

There were days when I have felt like people around me were either in slow motion so that I observe them better or they are running too fast that I dont understand whats going on. Felt lost. The situations are the same. But today I am looking at things with the what will be, will be kinda attitude. Being in the moment. And smiling at things around and giving a sigh that is bundled with a smile. Some days are like this. It will be good when you have everyday like this. But then this is life.. Some days there are different experience from a heavy heart. And some days there are different experiences from a joyous heart. I have seen that dwelling in some emotions is liberating in a way. Lessons learnt everyday. Lessons learnt everyday about who yo are. What makes you. For when you cant understand yourself, you dont know what you want, recognize who you are bit by bit, you are not living at all. Probably the prime goal from when we take in the first breath ever, with each movement and each step, should be to know to ourselves. Then, probably one day, we will have the answer to why things happen the way they do .. at least I hope I do. There must be a purpose and a reason for everything


Pavithran said...

Really Chin….I always had my head reeling over this…… where you do everything conscious in life, well planned and you make things happen and the other where you are merely the doer and you intend to leave the most to the almighty and say it all happens……in a way , Self-effort vs Destiny. Where would you draw the line?...would appreciate your opinion about this????.......

Prbly this could solve that puzzle…..i donno!!! I wonder!!!.

d_tox_ed said...

Are you by any chance the singer Chinmayi? I think I saw one of your performances at GCT Coimbatore in 2004. Never expected you to blog, what with you being a celebrity and all. :-)

Good to see you here though.

Anonymous said... we grow..experience more..we earn to be just 'in the moment'..
and hey..ive had days where in wake up and know nothing's gonna go well today and then there are days whre you wake up smiling and the whole dya is a the small moments that touvh you to the things you accomplish :)

got directed here becos i was looking for a translation of the song kannathil muthamittal.

good luck!

Unknown said...

This is not related to this post. I recently heard your rendition of 'singAra velanE thEvA' from salangai oli in Vijay TV. Excellent! I don't know the technical term for thhe swaram that comes in that song (the quick jumpy set right at the end), but you did it perfectly. Really loved it! :)

Sriram said...

Hey Chinmayi!

The main credits of Mani Ratnam's Guru reads this!

And of course you are the only one apart from AR and Chitra to have sung in 2 songs! Congrats. Waiting for a blockbuster here as usual!

1. Barso Re – Shreya Ghoshal & Uday Mazumdar

2. Tere Bina – AR Rahman, Chinmayee, Additional Voices – Murtaza, Qadir

3. Ek Lo Ek Muft – Bappi Lahiri, Chitra Additional Voices – Tanvi, Saloni, Boney, Jaidev

4. Baazi Laga – Udit Narayan, Madhushree, Swetha, Bhargavee Additional Programming – Pravin

5. Mayya – Maryem Toller, Chinmayee, Keerthi Programming & Additional Arrangements Ranjit

6. Ey Hairathe – Hariharan, Alka Yagnik Additional Voices – AR Rahman, Aslam Mohammed

7. Jaage Hain – Chitra , AR Rahman and Madras Choral Group

Mugilan said...

Unrelated to the post!!


Congrats on getting to sing 2 tracks for the G U R U :)

And a duet with A R R, hmmmm...thats some thing to die for!!!

Very eager to check them out :)

Anonymous said...

Read the post before. did not have any comments. But yesterday was one of those days when nothing seemed right. sigh!!
Visited your blog to check whether there are any new posts and re read it and I cant agree with you more...

Anonymous said...

Hey Chinmayi,
heard that u have sung a song for GURU, with ARR...can we expect a post about ur GURU recording experiences?

Subramanian said...

நல்லோர் நிலைத்திருக்கும்
நிலையில் வான்நீர்
நில்லாது பொழியும்!

Perhaps, this is the case with Chennai/TN as of now...! It's been a complaint that it doesn't rain properly. Sometimes it appears that the Lord doesn't answer the prayers and at other times He gives much more than what is required...!

The other half of the post is indeed 'revealing sorts' - I mean, it is a good point to say 'For when you cant understand yourself, you dont know what you want, recognize who you are bit by bit, you are not living at all'...

It's so difficult to know who you are - an identify crisis, and I am getting psyched with this query many a times...!

As far as I have experienced, it's a long journey - and a difficult one at that. I keep observing myself - the Self says something, the mind/ego/intellect/heart say something, and the body has its own 'requirements' and of course, not to forget, the vital desires/urges... Oh, my God, it's like a constant war happening everyday. And the worst (of all wars) happens when the aspiration increases towards pursuing this thing called 'Who am I' or in other words, when I want to know my Self... And I am afraid that I am not living at all...

There is a beautiful piece of translation that I would like to quote (taken from 'Hymns for the Drowning' by (late) Prof. A.K. Ramanujan, published by Penguin Classics):

O lord unending
wearing honey flowers
and basil leaf
in your hair

tell us this:

as moon
as sun
as the amazing numberless stars

as darkness
and as torrents of rain

as honor
as shame

and as death
with his cruel eyes

how fantastic
can you get?