Obscurity and otherwise.

Have you ever looked at a swimming pool all shimmering blue? From say, the 10th floor of a building?
I happened to have such a view of an empty pool yesterday. Ripple after ripple plaiting into one another creating honeycomb-like shapes. Sunlight beating down on creating shiny outlines to each random shape. Sometime I wonder whether all this is a lesson on its own. Wonder whether we can learn from just shutting our traps and watching. Breathing in and breathing out.
And Whether we are all just ripples in the pool of time. Imagining, thinking that we are leaving a mark, but creating only a ripple. But maybe that ripple is what is all important. Why would it not be. And that, each one winds into another, shapes another and creates something new. That which forms solely and that which is created with the help of another ......... And shape after shape united in one limpid pool. Limpid: to be free from obscurity. When and how do we lose the limpidness? And when does obscurity come in? How and when do things become murky? And do we consciously allow that? If so why?
Have you ever felt something calling out to you, a feeble voice at first and then it gets louder? And you really dont understand where it is coming from what you are supposed to do. So many times I feel like something from somewhere is calling out to me and it irritates me not to know what it is about.. The search of the unknown is one of the most suffering ones. And this is when I ask the cosmos that has so often given me what I want. If the cosmos is reading my blog.. here is to you. Time to help me.
To know the answer of an unknown question.
Even as I go through the passage for seeming errors and polishing up some lines, I am struck by the amazing weirdness of this passage. And realize that with all the psychology that I have studied, I am not quite a "normal" person really. And as of now, though I am a student of psychology, I dont seem to be friends with it. It has lead me to ask several questions. None of which have any answers yet. Or rather I havent been looking at the right places. But then who or what decides normalcy? How does anyone define or have the capacity to define normalcy? We are all happily weird in our own ways and probably revel in the knowledge. Or more commonly, in the lack of it. I am in this state of mind that cannot be really defined. Even as my mind makes a futile attempt to leaf through word after word.
What would it be like to just rise up and dissolve in to the blue sky?
By the way the sky over Orlando is a brilliant shade of blue.