Journeying...

Have been catching up with a couple of friends lately, people I have lost touch for several years now. When I was younger I really did not do everything that everyone did. For most people I was too driven. Which is why when people tell me of friends they have grown up with, best buddies and things like that, all I can do is smile and wonder what is like. I didn't have a group of close friends. When the ubiquitous Friendship day happens and the magazines/papers call me for a quote, it is one of those times I am at a total loss for words. They ask me to describe friendship or true friends. Here its tough for me to draw from experience. I sometimes wonder why and all but I don't regret it. I have met several people along the way, have silently watched, listened to or learnt from them. Some have left a mark. Some have left bruises. Some scars. But a mark nonetheless. And this week I finally met with friends after ages really. Now I cannot help but smile when this flashback happens, filmi style :) and to see the changes, to see the evolution. The wisdom in the words and in the eyes. And how some endearing mannerisms thankfully stay. I got the Bhagavad Gita as a gift today and intend to start reading it soon. This friend was telling me, that when I was his colleague, new and all, I apparently hummed while I worked (when I worked while still in school that is) and then he turned and asked "why are you humming?". And I'd said "because I sing". And then he said "uhhppp .. hahaha.. did you hear that.. she sings songs". And he said this evening, he apologised for it. I have absolutely no recollection of this incident but it was hilarious to hear this nonetheless. I worked with him when I was in 11th std. And then there was this girl I met  in the same office. Bright, funny, very smart, charming.... She eventually started her own theatre production and I was supposed to have worked with her. And just like that, on Valentines Day, she died. I just couldn't digest the fact at all. How could it happen I kept asking myself. I still do.

Life teaches you so many things. Sometimes it is in the face. Some times it is quiet. You win some people, you lose some people. But you don't want to lose people altogether. Not to death. And definitely not when you are some 50 years to get to an acceptable dying age. I will never claim that I was a great friend of hers but I had known her reasonably well. Its tough to push the lump that rises in the throat. 

And then there are people you meet, who exasperate and accuse you of something that you are not, or say things as strong as you ll never get there, you ll never be this or you ll never be that .. you ll meet them all along the way, No matter who you are. No matter what you do. But these are the people you need to be thankful for a lot more. Because in spite of everything, they contribute to the fire in your belly. Don't we need something every once in a while, to make you say "I ll show you!!" ?  Thank your stars for your detractors. For the people you meet on the way side, your co passengers. People will eventually get in and get off at various points. Its a ride. Bumpy, smooth, comfortable, lulls you at times. Love it, live it, hate it, experience it. There will come a time when you can say "I have arrived". Until then, keep going. Or maybe, you don't have to say that at all. When you arrive, the announcement is made. Perhaps. Ain't it?

P.S.: I blog and I write here to log certain thoughts that come to me at a certain point in time. Its a process wherein this is also something I do to watch what I am doing and thinking. And to keep in touch with you the reader. And like anything else a post is inspired by a certain set of events. Ideas and beliefs according to me need not be something that has to be unchangeable. What is the point to have only one set of ideas and hang on to it till death? Especially when there is a better option? I like the concept of evolving and I shall continue to do so. I like taking new ideas and suggestions as long as it leads to progression. Or to what my notion of progression is. It all need not necessarily have to conform everything under the heading of standard-ly accepted. Why conform to that anyway?  My journey is not about conforming to standards at all. Again, that is a personal viewpoint and I don't expect that you should agree.  And this space primarily is to watch that process.