Saturday, February 20, 2010

I have perhaps blogged about this before... One of my favorite songs is 'Say' from the OST of Bucket List sung by John Mayer. I wish I get to see movies made like the Bucket List in India,  but anyway that is not my point here..
Have been listening to this song over and over and the lyrics, simple as they can be.. How tough it is to say what we need to say? Can we really say whatever we need to? And as one of the lines in the song goes, It is better to say too much / Than never to say what you need to say, again

There is always this question of who will judge, who will think what, who will say what after  we have said whatever we have felt like. It is not that easy to not have regrets after we have done something that we have wanted to, especially when it did not work out the way we expected it to.  Yes we might have regrets, perhaps we might feel like punching ourselves, especially if there is embarrassment in its wake, but laud your guts that you did something that most people can never do. Or perhaps we did not have any vision of how things could be, but we did some things nonetheless. I think now, correct me if I am wrong, that we all bother way too much about what the others would think when we did/said something even if that is one of the things we want to do the most. We lead entire lifetimes thinking, bothering, worrying about an opinion of someone, somewhere who is going to be of zilch use to you or your scheme of things in life - not that every one needs to be of some 'use' - but why is this obsession on what others think? Who put this notion in our heads? As one of my friends says, when he hears a line which starts with "They say.....", He immediately retorts, "Who the *@$%#%# are 'they'? Who are these  Log, or oorla naalu paeru? Why do these "they" with no particular identity have such a profound effect on our lives and decisions that affect it?We are given this gift called a lifetime. And what a waste we make of it sometimes. We go against our conscience a lot of times. But yes there are times when we have to worry about things we do do which might have an impact on the community in a negative way. Say if you are wiping out entire acres of trees, or driving a vehicle which smokes like an industrial chimney, or something on those lines. 

So many times in life mom had come across groups of individuals who would come and advise her on how to do things. Then another will say whatever she had been doing would be wrong and that she has to start over. At different points in time in life. Now there are people that tell me that I should not be on this blogging/tweeting scene and that there should be more exclusivity. And that a musician needs to maintain the distance. Sometimes I feel that they are right. Considering some comments I get, I wonder why people are so obsessed with obscenities and the related but why should I be subject to all this is their question. Yes it does make sense several times. But if and when I don't blog, it would perhaps be because I have tired of this medium of expression and there would be a proper goodbye. I don't see it happening for now but the thing is, no matter what you do, there will be tons of free advice. And in Oscar Wilde's words "I always pass on good advice. It's the only thing to do with it. It is never any use to oneself." 

But I will also tell you this, some words have a certain ring to them, when they come from people that really wish well and mean well for you, you'll kinda know. And even though at times you might not be in agreement with everything that you are hearing,  it is best to give it a listen, sincerely.  

And here is what I feel. Our lives are way too special to be governed on what an x y or z could think about what we do or say. I assure you, as one of our well wishers said, people are too busy doing their own thing and dealing with their own issues to bother about us. So if you want to do something, or dream of starting something, go ahead and start it. You know where to get your wise counsel from, at times it comes from unexpected quarters as well but keep your ears and eyes open, and begin it. Boldness has Genius, Power and Magic in it. These words I thought were by Goethe but there seems to be some debate about it. No matter who said it originally, take the words for what they are and go ahead, chase your dreams, try even if you think you might fail. The Universe already loves you. Love it back by loving yourself and accepting yourself for who you are. 

Much love to you.


Jayanth said...

Quite an impressive one !!

V said...

I agree. No one has the right to tell you what to do, how to do things. Anything we do or say, ppl will criticize. What you do right might be wrong to someone else, hence criticism is constantly alive. I would channel those criticize into positive advice and keep your ear opens. Don't shut out these criticism. Criticism is a way of seeing yourself in a different perspective.

And I feel twitter, blogging has given the celebrities (singers, actors) a whole new medium to connect to their fans. I'm glad they are doing it. Because I wouldn't be able to praise Shahrukh Khan about his latest movie if it wasn't for him being in Twitter or I wouldn't be able to tell you how much I loved your " O Aiiye" song from Ayan.

In the end, you should be doing what you want to do because that's all that matters. Do you what makes you happy, whether its blogging or tweeting or anything.

CGShiv said...

Nice one, Chinmayi! Your blog comes at almost at the same time my mind was resounding with similar thoughts.. Was glad to see my thoughts transformed to words! Thanks..and my wishes for you to carry on with being who you are!


Maddy said...

That was a very interesting and nice write-up. I could relate to most of the incidents/things mentioned but I have come to the conclusion " You cannot please everyone and you also dont have to please everyone". People will be there to advice,complain or comment whether you do things right or wrong....If someone very close to you offers advice/suggestion, it is worth pondering as they (this person ha ha)might see things differently....For the rest, just listen and move on!!

SARAS said...

well said

Vaidy said...

I don't know what! It is surprising to see that I was also thinking about the same thing last week..

Between, I have been reading your blogs recently... I just have a feeling that you are trying to do some kind of inner exploration.. If that is so I would strongly suggest you to try "Inner Engineering" (by ISHA yoga) at the earliest... If you want more info, you could email me and I will tell you more about it and then you can decide ( or you can visit to know more about it...

Sorry, if you think it was an inappropriate comment...

Anonymous said...

Angry young woman.
The crown of celebrity comes with flowers and thorns. People feel they have had a role in the celebrity status you have achieved. An ordinary person will be faulted only if acts/words of his affect others; but a celebrity is judged even for her personal views even if the views dont do anything for/to the world; and thats because of the ordinary person's tendency to vicarious living. Many times, being/acting bold is very easy IF you have nobody else who depends on you and about whose future you have to be worried about. Society is very smart: it wont target you with the scare of a doomed future, because it knows you can take it, but it will couch the same with concerns for the loved ones to whom you are 'bonded'. So the key to being bold I think is freedom from such bonds. But whether it is attainable, available all the time, or whether we need to play low at some phase of our lives is the jugglery is all about, it seems. Have fun juggling.

gaayathri said...

hi chinamyi nice post.. ur blog has a regular readers like me who would immed comment on ur post.. sometimes i do read jus not ur post even comments, where i find lots of people wud definitely want to put an input saying ur words has transformed their thoughts.. i do join that group. Even this particular post is a replica of my thoughts just that im not good at narrating like u. post like "thayir sadam", where even now i wud like to go back and read and jus cling on to those old dates. it is so fresh whenever u read it.
Dont stop blogging.. bse it is very inspiring to people like me..
keep up the good work. WISHING U ALL SUCCESS.

Unknown said...

Good Post :D
Have always thought the same.

Maddy said...

I wonder if similar things happen to like-minded people at the same time! Because, so many readers connect with your blog, juz because it reflects their state of mind at that point of time!

Well, this whole idea of living for oneself is awesome, but i think it takes some time to consciously debate within oneself and know where to draw the line between not giving in to other's undue thoughts and on the other end of the spectrum - recklessness. And i am still in the debating stage! Hope i get to see the light soon!

Matangi Mawley said...

V Mawley(dad) says,

"I stopped worrying about what others were thinking about me, when I realized that they were not at all thinking about me, but were themselves worried over what I was thinking about them"...

Maddy said...

Another thought provoking post from you in the recent past. You raised few question about “They” and at the end you have answers too. We all need those “They”…….not to take their saying word by word but to do our own self analysis. If you can justify your own actions to YOURSELF there is nothing wrong. Introspection is the best self performance appraisal. You are very good at it. Keep going. Reach the stars.

Anon said...

This post is brilliant and just says what is in my heart.I had tweeted this question to you before,"How to stay focused on what we want when there are way too many factors to distract us".

Perhaps when we were kids, we were truly ourselves without giving heed to any x,y,z.There was no 'filter' while talking or listening.Once we grew up, may be these are the ways to test our faith and belief in ourselves.

And for some reason my heart started feeling lighter after reading this post.

Cheers to you lady.


Preethi Joshika said...

An inspiring writing again.
"But if and when I don't blog, it would perhaps be because I have tired of this medium of expression and there would be a proper goodbye."
I pray it should never happen or I should stop reading your blog much before you stop to write them.
And I sincerely apologies if any of my interrogative comments have bothered your while.
Have always stepped into a level of mental maturity from your wise writing and I wish it should have healthy proceedings.

Sathya said...

Awesome..It just reflected what i had in my mind. You had just put them in words. This is the best part "The Universe already loves you. Love it back by loving yourself and accepting yourself for who you are. " . The world will be a better place when people accept the way you are. :)

sribonz said...

very nice post, keep writing.

r senthilkumar said...

hi Chinmayi... I think I didnt read your post before I tweeted you, anyways you have been forthright about those ppl who tell us what to do. In many cases they would nt have seen the mirror nor would they have the guts to stand up to something.

Good read!, one small request could you break your paragraphs as shorter ones that would make it all the more enjoyable, take care.


PS: this post didnt have a title?!

Vijai said...

Hi Chin
. The Universe already loves you. Love it back by loving yourself and accepting yourself for who you are.
May be the 'love it back' is interpreted by the *&^%#@ THEY' in their own way.!!
If we are we always and not harm others....thats life i supose. Corectaa?
I suffered a lot in my life bcos of those "%&*(& THEY" and so i stopped worrying about them long time back. Sometimes i think what so far i have earned by having a concern for those "naalu peru" ?
Its bcos of your individuality and courage i admire you always.


Shekar S said...

Hi, Your writing style is simply superb...

பிரியமுடன்... said...

Ha...ha..ha....Ha... What happened to d Girls. Coool...coooool....!
Tide wont be standing around your leg always. But still comes to touch for make u cool. Sorry for my tsunami English. escape. bye

Sowmya Gopal said...

I think this problem is even more pronounced in India since it is somehow related to the concept of respecting one's privacy (that is ignored most of the time in India). I vented about it here -

But it also has a plus side since there are some people who genuinely care (unlike those here in Europe who mind their own business come what may).

I completely agree with you that the key is to live life like you deem fit.

Dance like noone is watching, Love like you have never been hurt :)

Unknown said...

Boldness has Genius, Power and Magic in it

That was a good quote. I guess the translation / interpretation of the Faust, 214-30 certainly make sense. A case where, perhaps, the interpretation or words of the translation created more magic. who knows?

M GANESAN said...

Thanks for your nice post quoating German Myth.
I think this is the first post appeared without label.


Shekar S said...

Hi Chinmayi,
Our company(i work part time for this company and i cant reveal the name here...) once had the language service from your blue elephant. a very good service... very much impressed. your writing style is simply superb...

Shwetha said...

What an awesome blog (powerful and inspiring).

I am very guarded about what I say or do for the fear of hurting someone who might be who is loathe to letting my guard down :)) So the write up was very positive and uplifting.

You rock Chinmayee, in spirit, actions, words and e-vibes too!

Kishore said...


You are right. People are too busy doing their own things and dealing with their own issues to bother about us.

There are few people who doesn't have any work and their main aim would be to check what others are doing and making comments about it to get a fame about it. You could see a lot of it happening these days and they making it to the Headlines of the day.

So why worry about those people who have this a habit ( rather work )

Devil Zone said...

Even if your hands are shaking
And your faith is broken
Even as your eyes are closing
Do it with a heart wide open

Wide :)

Sathyu said...

Hello Chinmayi,
Your blog is fresh with ideas & is amazingly brilliant. Yours is one of the few blogs that i've started following & find it to be very inspiring like your voice. Just after reading your blog on "Say.." by John Mayer, I've been impelled to create a blog of my own by name "Random Musings" & i heartily thank u for that. Do visit my blog when u get free time & let me have u'r valuable feedback. At times, u might feel a little low by the kind of reponses, but never stop sharing u'r thoughts. Thanks for being what you are. Keep travelling like Jonathan Livingston Seagull..

~ Sathyu

Suganya said...

This is what is exactly going on in my life. I'm someone who would luv to make ppl around me happy. But I dont live just for the sake of what others will talk abt me.

Most of em never live for their happiness, ppl are always forced to live for the happiness of the next door person. People who talk about you will always talk about you, no matter what you do. But that's not life. We can make ppl around to be happy. But we don't have to live just to satisfy them. This is our life. At the end of the day I want to be happy.

I get blasted, if I talk abt this to mum and relatives.We gotta change this.

Anonymous said...

Statutory Warning: Please dont stop blogging :).

You are an inspiration for all of us and we cant see you falling out. NO WAY. Be what you are and thats what we liked in you.

Amita Sampath said...

this was on my mind the whole day today.
very inspiring indeed.
we all definitely must listen to our heart, and follow our dreams. many of us don't, unfortunately.

u know chinmayi, looking at you, gives people confidence and encouragement to follow their dreams.
hey, at least it does for me :)

- Amita (hope u remember me, lol )

p.s. a big hug from mami from my side :)

rvivekshanmugam said...

Well Said! :)

¤pOndY pRIncE¤ said...

hey.. wat eve be, u are a super cool person and an awesome singer.. and u rock... and keep rockin :).. i ain't anybody to advice u.. i'm jus a coll lad much awaitin to see u at our college culturals on 18th march..

Anonymous said...

Stumbled on this blog after looking up for the singer of a beautiful song which listened to thrice or say four times...first of all thanks for beautiful song...

Coming to the topic, I agree we think twice and thrice before doing something..but we usually do that only when are about to do something drastic..out of ordinary which is not expected of us..isnt it...if thats the case i dont think its wrong to have a thought on how the impact will be...will it be good or will it be bad....

Human being is a social animal and most of the stuff we do are for others, right from the dress we put on, to the place we work (for those working folks) we do this because we need others to respect us, we do this because we look at earning others love - while doing our task it makes sense to see what will others - those who care for us - those who are our inspirations - those who are our loved ones - think about our tasks...our actions....if this thought is not there...our society will be filled with crime...hey looks like i need a blog :) but not sure who will read it :P

Sashwath said...

Hi Chinmayi,

I happed to vist your Blog only after watching TV show on Jaya TV.

I really though you were a good singer, little bit dubbing and since there was blog i started to read, Its going on like a novel , Every blog shows up a new person . Especially this one totally different personality . Blue Elephant and the article in Indian express . . Really nice . All the best for your future projects.