I remember the times that I used to struggle. Work from dawn to dusk in the unrelenting sun, until time gave the king of the sky a sign to retire. And until the cock crowed the next morning to call the sun back to begin its travel in my portion of the world, I would rest.
Tending to the soil, tending to the crop, tending to the harvest. I was tending to something or the other throughout the day, throughout the month, throughout the year. I knew no respite. But I found comfort in the harsh rays of the sun, the roughness of the soil. My feet eventually got used to the unevenness of the ground that I walked on, so much that, I had a hard time finding my footing on smooth surfaces. My skin was the colour of the soil, and unfortunately unlike the colour of the grain I harvested. I used to look forward to the time that I would have lunch sent to me, to the fields. And the short break that I used to take for water. Of prancing about at dusk, and wishing that dawn took a little longer to break.
Time passed, fortune smiled upon me. I had people working on the same soil that I worked on as a boy, as a youngster. I have a wife, children. A huge house. And I am a person of reckoning in my own small world. I now eat with people fanning me on both sides, men-fridays at my beck and call, nay, I had everything that a man of my beginnings could wish for. But yet I felt a void. I felt there was an emptiness that I could not explain. As days trudged by the feeling grew. It now had a strength of its own, a mind of its own, but I couldn't figure out where it was leading me. What I was supposed to do. I had no idea how to feel complete again.
And then one fine day, much to the consternation of everyone around me, I took to the fields. To work, to be under the blazing sun again, to feel the rough soil beneath my feet, to feel the beads of sweat meandering down their own paths on my skin. I went back home after a short while. I realized what comfort was. Like a drug, it gets you addicted and there is no therapy yet to free yourself from its clutches. Except freedom within you. I drank a lot more water that day than usual. But the feeling remained. The emptiness remained. It was like a vacuum. I returned to the fields the next day. It threw the others off balance, but slowly they got used to my presence around. A few more days passed this way, with me not finding the answer, Frustration gnawed my insides, seemed to corrode me at times, and then retarded to being a gnaw. The next day, I decided to share my food with the farmers who worked with me. Though they were highly hesitant at first, we eventually ate and drank together. And that's where my answer lay. In the pot of water that I consumed. Not mine, but that of the others'. In the pot of water that was not pure by any standards. In the pot that was made of clay, by the neighborhood potter. And it struck me then. I knew what I had been missing all this while. It was nothing actually, but it brought back a rush of memories.
And I realized that the waters of the mountain springs anywhere in the world, or the water freshly made from the sky, nothing would match the taste of the water. The water, the taste of which I had been missing all along. And the gnawing of my insides, which I thought was ceaseless, finally ceased. For the drop of water with the taste of the soil.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
I have always needed support in my lifetime. I could never be on my own. I always needed an anchor. Or a pillar. My beginnings were humble. Not many thought I would be as beautiful today and that I would make a difference in the world around me. Save one. She took care of me. Nourished me. Nurtured me. And slowly but surely I grew. In spite of all her efforts, I didn't seem to me doing anything worthwhile than look for more support, ask for more, want more as ever. But she was unflinching, never impatient, always there for me. She gave me the right support, the right care, the right guidance, to grow and be what I am today. Slowly, I grew stronger, I was able to take care of myself a little better. If she went out on her work, and had other things to do, I could sustain. But I would not be able to get by without her. Her touch was soft as a whisper, and her love boundless. She seemed to give her all to me. I grew taller, for one and finally all her efforts seemed to be worthwhile. My roots were stronger. In the meanwhile, she went through changes in her life as well. She got married, and I couldn't see her for a long time. But I got by. In the garden of my life, I met many more people, who contributed to my growth. And now I am a somebody. But I look out for her. Dawn to dusk, dusk to dawn. And then finally one day she arrived, she didn't seem to have forgotten about me. And she had her daughter with her. A doll of a girl. She laid her small hands on me, and I reached out. Her touch had the same quality. As soft as a whisper. "Say hello, Blossom", said her mother. And for some reason she hugged me. Thereafter I stretched out and gave her mother the best of mine. The best of my blossoms. For I was a creeper, which needed a lot of care and needed to be supported at all times. And she was the one cared to give it to me.
Monday, March 19, 2007
I saw you coming from afar. I had seen several like you. But you seemed different. Even at a distance. While you appeared in my field of vision. And while your form slowly took shape in my eyes. Here I was, unmoved over years. Nothing could really change me. I met with several things that had an effect on me. You seemed to approach fast. Yet, you seemed to take forever. You smiled. And suddenly you rose afresh, buffed yourself and you were taller than I envisaged.
And finally you met me. I couldn't help smiling back at you. I remember telling you that you looked familiar, but I am certain I had not met you before.
You sounded fresh. Deep. Then I heard you telling me that you took ages, to travel and meet me. A journey of several thousand miles, starting from literally nowhere and moving at a painfully slow pace. But it seemed worthwhile to you, or so you said. You did not have much time. You had to go back. Your friends were buying time for you. They helped you be with me. But I knew, you knew, it wont last longer. And I knew, you knew, you would return, but it won't be the same. You would have changed. Only a few minutes would have passed since I met you, and it already seemed like I knew you. Rather, I knew that I knew you. There were several people around me. My face was wet. And at that time you decided to leave, with a promise to return. And you left something in my hands, that I treasure, looking for you, and I would know when you come back to me, even if you are miles away. Nothing fancy. But it was a beautiful seashell. Of a pink hue. A hue I had never seen. You said that you had traveled to the depths of the ocean to fetch this one. I smiled. Then slowly you withdrew. I saw you leave. It would never be the same. I shall wait. If it takes forever then so it shall be.
For you... were the wave, that washed up on this shore.
And I still wait clutching the seashell between my hands, hiding it in the grains of my sands, that no one can see it. And shall wait forever, even though I know you will take a long time to come back to me, and our meeting will last but for a short while. But still...... what else does the shore have to do than wait for her wave?
And finally you met me. I couldn't help smiling back at you. I remember telling you that you looked familiar, but I am certain I had not met you before.
You sounded fresh. Deep. Then I heard you telling me that you took ages, to travel and meet me. A journey of several thousand miles, starting from literally nowhere and moving at a painfully slow pace. But it seemed worthwhile to you, or so you said. You did not have much time. You had to go back. Your friends were buying time for you. They helped you be with me. But I knew, you knew, it wont last longer. And I knew, you knew, you would return, but it won't be the same. You would have changed. Only a few minutes would have passed since I met you, and it already seemed like I knew you. Rather, I knew that I knew you. There were several people around me. My face was wet. And at that time you decided to leave, with a promise to return. And you left something in my hands, that I treasure, looking for you, and I would know when you come back to me, even if you are miles away. Nothing fancy. But it was a beautiful seashell. Of a pink hue. A hue I had never seen. You said that you had traveled to the depths of the ocean to fetch this one. I smiled. Then slowly you withdrew. I saw you leave. It would never be the same. I shall wait. If it takes forever then so it shall be.
For you... were the wave, that washed up on this shore.
And I still wait clutching the seashell between my hands, hiding it in the grains of my sands, that no one can see it. And shall wait forever, even though I know you will take a long time to come back to me, and our meeting will last but for a short while. But still...... what else does the shore have to do than wait for her wave?
Friday, March 16, 2007
The air is chilly, and the wind seems to be blowing in earnest. Like almost it is paid to make me bring the ends of my jacket closer. Having a river flowing by doesn't really help to keep me warm, but the sound of water strangely calms me. It will be a while before dawn breaks and I can feel the comforting warmth. But now I have a companion. A bird which seems to be way too close to me for her comfort. No matter how hard I try to stay in, under the warmth of the covers, I wake up each morning before it is even 4. I trudge along, alone and go to the solitary bench. I have never once questioned as to why there was only one, so far, and not more. But then how many benches would I need? And there I find myself, a river that flows by, not quietly of course, sometimes she gurgles, and a bird and a few trees around, and the leaves that fall off them. Day after day I come here, trying to find some meaning, trying to find something new, trying to know something new, but it evades me. Life trudges along with the same sickening clockwork precision and for once I wish that there were some changes. Something new to look forward to. I didn't want the clock turned back to the times I have had, but I wanted change. But strangely when I had it, even if it were minimal, I didn't quite relish it. There as always something missing.
Nonetheless, my early morning jaunts were something I had begun to look forward to. There are more people in the world now than there were when I was born, and strangely enough, most are lonely. So many lonely in a crowd, I see people eating alone, being alone. What is it at the end of the day? Should we expect more from life and remain dissatisfied, or just try and be content with what you have, knowing fully well that you are only trying and not being?
Time seems to have passed quickly and I see the horizon warming up. Just like my life seems to have passed. It is time for me to get back home, and yet another day dawns. And my feet of 69 years trudge back home, and the sun rises behind me.
Nonetheless, my early morning jaunts were something I had begun to look forward to. There are more people in the world now than there were when I was born, and strangely enough, most are lonely. So many lonely in a crowd, I see people eating alone, being alone. What is it at the end of the day? Should we expect more from life and remain dissatisfied, or just try and be content with what you have, knowing fully well that you are only trying and not being?
Time seems to have passed quickly and I see the horizon warming up. Just like my life seems to have passed. It is time for me to get back home, and yet another day dawns. And my feet of 69 years trudge back home, and the sun rises behind me.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Issue uploading pictures
I am having trouble uploading pictures on blogger
It comes up with this error code
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Has anyone else encountered the same issue? Please let me know
TIA
It comes up with this error code
bX-gcdngf
Has anyone else encountered the same issue? Please let me know
TIA
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Almost done.. home beckons
And we had an awesome performance today. I finally mustered enough guts to shake a leg..
In case I didn't mention before, this concert also had Mrs. S Janaki, Mr Mano, Shyam, Mukesh and Actor Santhanam. Shyam and Mukesh have an amazing stage presence when they go in together.
The music lovers in Sydney and Melbourne were highly responsive and I had a great time performing here.
This is Janaki Amma's 50th year in the Music industry and these set of concerts were to commemorate that. We have a final concert tomorrow, for Telugu music lovers and with that we head back home.
Tonight was thankfully warm. I saw that though it is sunny in Melbourne, as opposed to showers in Sydney, I still felt cold at most times.
Probably the weather here decided to be kind to me after all :D
This trip has been pretty good so far. Hope there will be more concerts and better concerts... :D
At Sydney we visited the Tower-360 degree view of Sydney, went on the OZ Trek, the simulated ride on Australia, checked out the Opera House (someday, and hopefully soon, I would like to perform there), went on the 'train ride' around Botanical gardens. This was a trackless train going, which started every 5 minutes from the Main entrance and had about 4 or 5 stops at vantage points in the garden. You could get off at one point and once you are done there, you can wait for the next train to arrive and hop on. The girl who 'drove' the train also spoke to us through a speaker system confined to the vehicle, and explained all about the fauna and some birds there. I also happened to see a lot of people on training session, mostly running and I saw some trainers, who I am sure are slave drivers.
We checked out the Melbourne tower here, the Observation Deck which gives a 360 degree view of the city, drank some coffee at the cafe there ,saw the video on Melbourne which lasted some 20 minutes, went into the aquarium, which was pretty good. It was a good feeling in that one where sharks swam above your head :D
We were also lucky to catch a feeding session where the divers went in and fed the sharks so that they dont eat the other fish. And quoting the guide who was speaking to us, expecting the sharks to tear people apart limb to limb is not going to happen. But what surprised me was when he posed this question, there were people who actually said that they would like to see a person being torn apart by a shark. I really hope, for my sake, that they were joking. So several types of eight leggers as well. Creepy crawlies and since they were ensconced in their cages, it didn't make my skin crawl. This was more or less the tip of the iceberg. There is obviously much to do in Australia, but we had time for this much alone.
Shopping didn't really catch my fancy in this country. But then I am not that interested in shopping anyway.
And I must say again, after like ages I got some eye candy. Doesn't look like there is any left in India, and definitely not in Chennai or in Bangalore, or in Mumbai.
And finally as long as it is music, I wish that it plays on!
In case I didn't mention before, this concert also had Mrs. S Janaki, Mr Mano, Shyam, Mukesh and Actor Santhanam. Shyam and Mukesh have an amazing stage presence when they go in together.
The music lovers in Sydney and Melbourne were highly responsive and I had a great time performing here.
This is Janaki Amma's 50th year in the Music industry and these set of concerts were to commemorate that. We have a final concert tomorrow, for Telugu music lovers and with that we head back home.
Tonight was thankfully warm. I saw that though it is sunny in Melbourne, as opposed to showers in Sydney, I still felt cold at most times.
Probably the weather here decided to be kind to me after all :D
This trip has been pretty good so far. Hope there will be more concerts and better concerts... :D
At Sydney we visited the Tower-360 degree view of Sydney, went on the OZ Trek, the simulated ride on Australia, checked out the Opera House (someday, and hopefully soon, I would like to perform there), went on the 'train ride' around Botanical gardens. This was a trackless train going, which started every 5 minutes from the Main entrance and had about 4 or 5 stops at vantage points in the garden. You could get off at one point and once you are done there, you can wait for the next train to arrive and hop on. The girl who 'drove' the train also spoke to us through a speaker system confined to the vehicle, and explained all about the fauna and some birds there. I also happened to see a lot of people on training session, mostly running and I saw some trainers, who I am sure are slave drivers.
We checked out the Melbourne tower here, the Observation Deck which gives a 360 degree view of the city, drank some coffee at the cafe there ,saw the video on Melbourne which lasted some 20 minutes, went into the aquarium, which was pretty good. It was a good feeling in that one where sharks swam above your head :D
We were also lucky to catch a feeding session where the divers went in and fed the sharks so that they dont eat the other fish. And quoting the guide who was speaking to us, expecting the sharks to tear people apart limb to limb is not going to happen. But what surprised me was when he posed this question, there were people who actually said that they would like to see a person being torn apart by a shark. I really hope, for my sake, that they were joking. So several types of eight leggers as well. Creepy crawlies and since they were ensconced in their cages, it didn't make my skin crawl. This was more or less the tip of the iceberg. There is obviously much to do in Australia, but we had time for this much alone.
Shopping didn't really catch my fancy in this country. But then I am not that interested in shopping anyway.
And I must say again, after like ages I got some eye candy. Doesn't look like there is any left in India, and definitely not in Chennai or in Bangalore, or in Mumbai.
And finally as long as it is music, I wish that it plays on!
Thursday, March 08, 2007
In Melbourne
For the 2nd set of concerts and I leave from here on Sunday night..
Though I have always known that I am a workaholic, I see that I am not able to handle free time.
We have rehearsals this evening. And I see that songs from my discography that are not that popular in Chennai are pretty popular here.
I ma having a great time with Janaki amma here.. We have some family connections that got wayyyy back.
We drove around Melbourne a bit and checked out the shopping malls. Nothing interesting to shop here though.
Things I got to know here:
I see that you will be fined if you hit a spider or a snake that comes into your home.
Wear a seat belt even if you are in the back seat
A lot of Indian faces
Most Oz men are good looking and tall. Awesome!!
People get paid here on a weekly basis or fortnightly basis as well.
Supermarkets shut down between 5 and 6 in the evenings but remain open during Thursdays and Fridays until late as those days are paydays
Fuel prices go up on these pay days by about 10 or 20 cents and they rollback by Monday.
And generally life is pretty laid back here. People go to work at about 8 in the morning and are back by 5.
Melbourne doesn't have a stable weather. Temperatures drop and rise well at the drop of a hat.
I like the game shows on local TV here..
SUN TV is telecast here one day late. They record all the programmes on Sun TV and play them the next day.
People use the horns in their car only to convey their displeasure about the other drivers. Ah for silence.
Last weekend was the Mardi Gras here. Was supposed to be a major event, but I seem to have missed it.
Any way, I am waiting to get back home. .That is where my heart is.. and where the music is.
(Disclaimer: the information I have posted about Australia is hearsay. It need not be a super fact)
Though I have always known that I am a workaholic, I see that I am not able to handle free time.
We have rehearsals this evening. And I see that songs from my discography that are not that popular in Chennai are pretty popular here.
I ma having a great time with Janaki amma here.. We have some family connections that got wayyyy back.
We drove around Melbourne a bit and checked out the shopping malls. Nothing interesting to shop here though.
Things I got to know here:
I see that you will be fined if you hit a spider or a snake that comes into your home.
Wear a seat belt even if you are in the back seat
A lot of Indian faces
Most Oz men are good looking and tall. Awesome!!
People get paid here on a weekly basis or fortnightly basis as well.
Supermarkets shut down between 5 and 6 in the evenings but remain open during Thursdays and Fridays until late as those days are paydays
Fuel prices go up on these pay days by about 10 or 20 cents and they rollback by Monday.
And generally life is pretty laid back here. People go to work at about 8 in the morning and are back by 5.
Melbourne doesn't have a stable weather. Temperatures drop and rise well at the drop of a hat.
I like the game shows on local TV here..
SUN TV is telecast here one day late. They record all the programmes on Sun TV and play them the next day.
People use the horns in their car only to convey their displeasure about the other drivers. Ah for silence.
Last weekend was the Mardi Gras here. Was supposed to be a major event, but I seem to have missed it.
Any way, I am waiting to get back home. .That is where my heart is.. and where the music is.
(Disclaimer: the information I have posted about Australia is hearsay. It need not be a super fact)
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Sydney Day 4
The first concert took place yesterday at Bankstown Town hall.
People sat through for almost 5 hours and it was a very successful concert. Saw the Opera house and the Harbour bridge at night when we drove back after the concert. Tried taking some pictures but looks like I have to learn taking pictures in night light. :)
Got to hit the road again... Sydney has narrow roads and there are not too many chances to take U Turns as I noticed. And haven't set my eyes on a fancy car yet. A whole lot of Hondas and a few BMWs and a few VWs. I see that the Taxis here have video and audio monitoring so there are stickers saying watch what you say. Almost everything is quarantined. Intend to look around tomorrow and see what the city has to offer. As of now majorly sleep deprived!!
People sat through for almost 5 hours and it was a very successful concert. Saw the Opera house and the Harbour bridge at night when we drove back after the concert. Tried taking some pictures but looks like I have to learn taking pictures in night light. :)
Got to hit the road again... Sydney has narrow roads and there are not too many chances to take U Turns as I noticed. And haven't set my eyes on a fancy car yet. A whole lot of Hondas and a few BMWs and a few VWs. I see that the Taxis here have video and audio monitoring so there are stickers saying watch what you say. Almost everything is quarantined. Intend to look around tomorrow and see what the city has to offer. As of now majorly sleep deprived!!
Friday, March 02, 2007
Australia Mate!!
Currently in Australia for a few shows in Sydney and Melbourne.
Came here after a pretty tiresome journey.
Two things connected to airports. While in Chennai, there was unclaimed baggage, and in no time there were sniffer dogs, police personnel and the bomb squad. And a lot of worried people wondering whether something is gonna blow.
Transit at KLIA for almost 4 hours. It was boring and cold. And I llove technology. We forgot the Malaysian currency at home. And were wondering how to have a cup of coffee since they didnt have credit cards. And I see an ATM in front of me. Turns out mom noticed it earlier. Pushed my card in, and out come the awesome looking money I have ever seen in my life :) All for a cup of coffee. Small pleasures sometimes turn out to be pretty importnat :)
Once at Sydney, we saw the airport officials refused to let the Tabla inside the country because they said it is animal skin, and it has to be quarantined. He says he is doing his job. And after a struggle of more than an hour, we had to forego the instrument. And we can take it back from Syndey when we go back. I found this saddening that a musical instrument can't make through such regulatory problems.
Have a fairly long stay in Australia and intend to look around quite a bit and for super shows with Janaki Amma, Mano ji and Mr. Mukesh.
Rehearsals start in a while gotta go hit the note~
Came here after a pretty tiresome journey.
Two things connected to airports. While in Chennai, there was unclaimed baggage, and in no time there were sniffer dogs, police personnel and the bomb squad. And a lot of worried people wondering whether something is gonna blow.
Transit at KLIA for almost 4 hours. It was boring and cold. And I llove technology. We forgot the Malaysian currency at home. And were wondering how to have a cup of coffee since they didnt have credit cards. And I see an ATM in front of me. Turns out mom noticed it earlier. Pushed my card in, and out come the awesome looking money I have ever seen in my life :) All for a cup of coffee. Small pleasures sometimes turn out to be pretty importnat :)
Once at Sydney, we saw the airport officials refused to let the Tabla inside the country because they said it is animal skin, and it has to be quarantined. He says he is doing his job. And after a struggle of more than an hour, we had to forego the instrument. And we can take it back from Syndey when we go back. I found this saddening that a musical instrument can't make through such regulatory problems.
Have a fairly long stay in Australia and intend to look around quite a bit and for super shows with Janaki Amma, Mano ji and Mr. Mukesh.
Rehearsals start in a while gotta go hit the note~
Thursday, February 15, 2007
I am back to hosting on Television. On Vijay TV.
I will be hosting Airtel Super Singer Junior this time. I am looking forward to newer experiences and a lot of children! Hoping and praying this will go well.
My show on Aahaa 91.9 has been going good. The experience is different. Quire an experience because the only way to communicate is by my voice. I am learning to manage slurs in speech and hiccups as well. Breathing in between. All the jazz. Talking on radio is a completely different game altogether. I see that it is not easy. If what I say is scripted, it sounds like that. Like I am reading out.. even if I write myself what I want to say. I learn that it requires presence of mind to respond in a proper manner to people who speak to you. I have my set of regular callers now, which feels wonderful. I also realize I have a whole range of different ways of talking. Why I take on so many personas is a mystery. But it happens subliminally. Its not a conscious shift in modulations. I have not made any decisions on the way I HAVE to sound in my show yet. I am taking it as it comes. There are days when I am reflective, days when I am energetic, days when I am physically zapped, days when I m joyous and it reflects in my show. I don't really know whether I want to veil all that all the time. Of course I cant carry around a morose tone if and when I am emotionally down.
One of the things I have to manage is hunger. 3 hours non stop between 12 and 3 pm. We are not allowed to take even water inside the studio, and my stomach starts protesting. Loudly. I do get some respite in between for a few minutes. But other than this hiccup, I am having a great time.
I watched Guru for the 4th time today. :D With mom and colleagues. At Inox. Pretty cool. Its amazing to listen to the way Tere Bina opens in the movie.. Life is good. :)
I will be hosting Airtel Super Singer Junior this time. I am looking forward to newer experiences and a lot of children! Hoping and praying this will go well.
My show on Aahaa 91.9 has been going good. The experience is different. Quire an experience because the only way to communicate is by my voice. I am learning to manage slurs in speech and hiccups as well. Breathing in between. All the jazz. Talking on radio is a completely different game altogether. I see that it is not easy. If what I say is scripted, it sounds like that. Like I am reading out.. even if I write myself what I want to say. I learn that it requires presence of mind to respond in a proper manner to people who speak to you. I have my set of regular callers now, which feels wonderful. I also realize I have a whole range of different ways of talking. Why I take on so many personas is a mystery. But it happens subliminally. Its not a conscious shift in modulations. I have not made any decisions on the way I HAVE to sound in my show yet. I am taking it as it comes. There are days when I am reflective, days when I am energetic, days when I am physically zapped, days when I m joyous and it reflects in my show. I don't really know whether I want to veil all that all the time. Of course I cant carry around a morose tone if and when I am emotionally down.
One of the things I have to manage is hunger. 3 hours non stop between 12 and 3 pm. We are not allowed to take even water inside the studio, and my stomach starts protesting. Loudly. I do get some respite in between for a few minutes. But other than this hiccup, I am having a great time.
I watched Guru for the 4th time today. :D With mom and colleagues. At Inox. Pretty cool. Its amazing to listen to the way Tere Bina opens in the movie.. Life is good. :)
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
I fall, I fly. My skin is dry and all that I can do is just be led. I no longer have a free will. I have been stuck all my life, not able to go anywhere, do what I want to. Then one fine day, I decided to break away. To run away. To fly away. That I did. I had a companion. I didn't know where to go, How to go, since I had never been on my own. But now I was free. My companion told me where to go. And I did. I skipped around, sometimes sat for a while at one place. And then my friend told me about another beautiful place, I started my journey again. Thus I traveled. I saw lakes, I saw forests, I saw the city, I saw people, I saw houses, I saw homes, I saw buildings and I saw edifices. Sometimes I almost ran into some people. But my friend helped me. He was there all the time. To guide me and to lift me up. And I was glad that I was in his constant care. I wound through new paths..
Then one day, I came to a park. Early morning. It was still slightly cold. And it was windy. It didn't bother me. I have been so happy for a while now that every time I moved, I felt as if my feet never touched the ground. My friend also seemed very energetic today. As I settled myself under a tree, so did my friend. We lapsed into a companionable silence. And watched as one by one, people slowly left the park. Kids and ladies and men. After a while I saw a girl. She looked pale and listless. I couldn't help but look at her. She had a distance look in her eyes. And she seemed to look at nothing in particular. Soon she was the only one left, and she didn't show any signs of leaving. It was my friend and I and that girl. She sat along on the bench, her hands on her lap. Her hair undone. I thought she had beautiful hair. Long and dark. My friend was looking at her too, but he seemed to be knowing why she was here. He smiled at me. We got up, and we went closer. She had sad eyes. She looked sad. And she was crying. Her face was all flushed.
Her sobs were gut wrenching, after a while she was almost gasping for air. Then she stilled for a while. My friend said he had seen several people like that, who came to the park, looking for solitude, looking to be alone looking to cry. He thought she was mourning the loss of something or someone. I knew what it was to be attached. To not be free. To be as if you are almost chained to the people around you. But now I was free. I know no attachment. I am not bound. Its liberating.
I went round to her and sat by her side. But it was almost as if I didn't exist at all. I watched her. She cried and cried and cried. My friend was watching her too. I rose, and I wiped her tear. She kept quiet, she didn't turn or look or want to know who wiped her tear. And then, I suddenly felt very heavy. I felt weighed down. I couldn't bear it. I lay down and I couldn't get up. And slowly the life ebbed out of me. Whatever that was left. I was now going back to where I came from. I knew that I would not see my friend again. But maybe some other time. I loved him deeply. But ours was an unlikely match. He never stayed at one place too long. My face was wet. With my own tears. I would miss him terribly. He smiled at me. It was difficult to describe was kind it was. But he knew perhaps what I was going through. He stayed with me as until I became nothing. Until I was naught. He got up and quietly left. He had to meet several others like me.
For this is the story of a leaf, that broke off from its tree, and was taken along by the wind, with whom she fell in love. She had found love though fleeting. It was never to be.
And she had been the leaf that wiped a tear. And she had been. And she had.
Then one day, I came to a park. Early morning. It was still slightly cold. And it was windy. It didn't bother me. I have been so happy for a while now that every time I moved, I felt as if my feet never touched the ground. My friend also seemed very energetic today. As I settled myself under a tree, so did my friend. We lapsed into a companionable silence. And watched as one by one, people slowly left the park. Kids and ladies and men. After a while I saw a girl. She looked pale and listless. I couldn't help but look at her. She had a distance look in her eyes. And she seemed to look at nothing in particular. Soon she was the only one left, and she didn't show any signs of leaving. It was my friend and I and that girl. She sat along on the bench, her hands on her lap. Her hair undone. I thought she had beautiful hair. Long and dark. My friend was looking at her too, but he seemed to be knowing why she was here. He smiled at me. We got up, and we went closer. She had sad eyes. She looked sad. And she was crying. Her face was all flushed.
Her sobs were gut wrenching, after a while she was almost gasping for air. Then she stilled for a while. My friend said he had seen several people like that, who came to the park, looking for solitude, looking to be alone looking to cry. He thought she was mourning the loss of something or someone. I knew what it was to be attached. To not be free. To be as if you are almost chained to the people around you. But now I was free. I know no attachment. I am not bound. Its liberating.
I went round to her and sat by her side. But it was almost as if I didn't exist at all. I watched her. She cried and cried and cried. My friend was watching her too. I rose, and I wiped her tear. She kept quiet, she didn't turn or look or want to know who wiped her tear. And then, I suddenly felt very heavy. I felt weighed down. I couldn't bear it. I lay down and I couldn't get up. And slowly the life ebbed out of me. Whatever that was left. I was now going back to where I came from. I knew that I would not see my friend again. But maybe some other time. I loved him deeply. But ours was an unlikely match. He never stayed at one place too long. My face was wet. With my own tears. I would miss him terribly. He smiled at me. It was difficult to describe was kind it was. But he knew perhaps what I was going through. He stayed with me as until I became nothing. Until I was naught. He got up and quietly left. He had to meet several others like me.
For this is the story of a leaf, that broke off from its tree, and was taken along by the wind, with whom she fell in love. She had found love though fleeting. It was never to be.
And she had been the leaf that wiped a tear. And she had been. And she had.
Friday, January 26, 2007
On Air on Aahaa 91.9 FM
In Chennai
We launched on the 18th and almost about 2 weeks later I am having a lot of fun talking to people. And I have a super team that I work with on 'Namma Ooru Angels'. Lots of joy and laughter. I am presently going live between 12-3 in the afternoon from Monday to Friday.
On a previous post asking for suggestions, I thought it best not to publish those. I want to heartfully thank everyone that has commented on that particular post, wracking your brains for my benefit. As of now, we have not been able to incorporate any of the ideas that I have received through my blog mostly due to the time band that I am on.
I am looking forward to knowing your suggestions on our show. If you have given a listen, do mail in. Also, I have had to thank for the suggestions on a post like this, because most have not left a forwarding EMail. Thanks once again
We launched on the 18th and almost about 2 weeks later I am having a lot of fun talking to people. And I have a super team that I work with on 'Namma Ooru Angels'. Lots of joy and laughter. I am presently going live between 12-3 in the afternoon from Monday to Friday.
On a previous post asking for suggestions, I thought it best not to publish those. I want to heartfully thank everyone that has commented on that particular post, wracking your brains for my benefit. As of now, we have not been able to incorporate any of the ideas that I have received through my blog mostly due to the time band that I am on.
I am looking forward to knowing your suggestions on our show. If you have given a listen, do mail in. Also, I have had to thank for the suggestions on a post like this, because most have not left a forwarding EMail. Thanks once again
Post Script to the Post below
Or rather should it be PB, for Post Blog?
I have found the need to clarify time and again that what I write is mostly inspired from what I see, read and hear. Not necessarily what I feel. And so far, most of these 'hatke' posts have had almost nothing to do with my daily life.
I was pretty surprised to see several mails and comments within a span of a few hours asking me whether I was in love. No. And I am not. For all that I know, my posts could even be inspired by a movie that I have just watched. I watch a humongous number of movies on DVD.
Hope this clarifies the questions :)
I have found the need to clarify time and again that what I write is mostly inspired from what I see, read and hear. Not necessarily what I feel. And so far, most of these 'hatke' posts have had almost nothing to do with my daily life.
I was pretty surprised to see several mails and comments within a span of a few hours asking me whether I was in love. No. And I am not. For all that I know, my posts could even be inspired by a movie that I have just watched. I watch a humongous number of movies on DVD.
Hope this clarifies the questions :)
Thursday, January 25, 2007
I heard a story. Of love. Of love that has renewed hopes every single day. She was pale. She was always changing. But her change was predictable. Once people got to know her, it was easy to know how she will look and how she will feel, and what effect she will have on the world around each day. Though she didn't have a flawless face, everyone thought she was beautiful.
She was happier as the day waned. She awoke then, in all her glory. She felt uncomfortable in the spotlight, and she would go into hiding, rather make herself inconspicuous when it was very bright around. But if you would bother to look for her, she would be there. On those days she felt small. She felt worthless. But as the day wore by, she will be happier, brighter, more energetic. And she would go to see her beloved. All that he used to do was just be still. She thought he was not capable of any feeling, but she was wrong. He had a huge temper sometimes, and a lot of people say that she is the cause for his turbulence and anger. Mostly, he would get all worked up when she looked her best. People could never understand why. And she always thought he gave her second place. She was always an option in his life. And always second best.
That saddened her. But everyday she would look upon him. Be with him. And some days she thought that he loved her back too. They shared a quiet understanding. When they met, they made a beautiful picture. There were people who wished that they always be together. But another day would dawn, and those thoughts would go to nought.
All that she did was love. And love boundlessly. Because he was boundless. He was all encompassing. And he could take in a lot more than she could ever think of. She loved him most when he was calm. Wherever she looked he was there. And their eyes would always meet. They were in love. But they knew they could not be together all the time. She, being the way she is, understood, and decided to be second best. Decided to be an option. At least that way, she could be with him at least for some time. And those times were cherished. And loved. Especially when her silvery hair fell upon him. Together they are always beautiful. And it will always be. For this is the story of the Moon and the Sea. Of love that waits day after day.
She was happier as the day waned. She awoke then, in all her glory. She felt uncomfortable in the spotlight, and she would go into hiding, rather make herself inconspicuous when it was very bright around. But if you would bother to look for her, she would be there. On those days she felt small. She felt worthless. But as the day wore by, she will be happier, brighter, more energetic. And she would go to see her beloved. All that he used to do was just be still. She thought he was not capable of any feeling, but she was wrong. He had a huge temper sometimes, and a lot of people say that she is the cause for his turbulence and anger. Mostly, he would get all worked up when she looked her best. People could never understand why. And she always thought he gave her second place. She was always an option in his life. And always second best.
That saddened her. But everyday she would look upon him. Be with him. And some days she thought that he loved her back too. They shared a quiet understanding. When they met, they made a beautiful picture. There were people who wished that they always be together. But another day would dawn, and those thoughts would go to nought.
All that she did was love. And love boundlessly. Because he was boundless. He was all encompassing. And he could take in a lot more than she could ever think of. She loved him most when he was calm. Wherever she looked he was there. And their eyes would always meet. They were in love. But they knew they could not be together all the time. She, being the way she is, understood, and decided to be second best. Decided to be an option. At least that way, she could be with him at least for some time. And those times were cherished. And loved. Especially when her silvery hair fell upon him. Together they are always beautiful. And it will always be. For this is the story of the Moon and the Sea. Of love that waits day after day.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Guru - Rocks!!!!!
I just came back from the movie, and it positively rocks. To say the least. Wow Wow and more Wow.
I have never reviewed a film before so please dont expect technical details. Super acting by everyone in the film. Again to say the least.
Watch it people!!
P.S.: And my pictures are now up.. have a dekho :D
I have never reviewed a film before so please dont expect technical details. Super acting by everyone in the film. Again to say the least.
Watch it people!!
P.S.: And my pictures are now up.. have a dekho :D
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Suggestions!!!
This year I am doing something new. I am going to be an RJ on FM radio. Quite simply.
I have been asking people on what they would expect from a singer who is also hosting a show, and so far my blog is something I haven't tried to get suggestions.
I dont want to do a typical "know your music" kind of a show where I will speak about finding ragas and knowing talas only.
My show will be on every week day for a couple of hours.
I am basically looking to do a show that will be fun. If you have any ideas as to what I could do, or you could tell me what you would like to listen to if you were to tune in to my show, I will be immensely grateful.
Thanks in Advance.
P.S.: I have been unable to write more so because I seem to not be able to string my words together for this particular section, when I want to. Blogger's block perhaps!
I have been asking people on what they would expect from a singer who is also hosting a show, and so far my blog is something I haven't tried to get suggestions.
I dont want to do a typical "know your music" kind of a show where I will speak about finding ragas and knowing talas only.
My show will be on every week day for a couple of hours.
I am basically looking to do a show that will be fun. If you have any ideas as to what I could do, or you could tell me what you would like to listen to if you were to tune in to my show, I will be immensely grateful.
Thanks in Advance.
P.S.: I have been unable to write more so because I seem to not be able to string my words together for this particular section, when I want to. Blogger's block perhaps!
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Monday, January 01, 2007
The Best New Year's eve EVER!!!
It was the best way to end a year. And the best way to begin a new one.
Singing. And in Rahman Sir' concert. Nokia New Year's Eve in Mumbai rocked! And I am super glad I was a part of it.
Rehearsals happened in a hectic pace a couple of days before the show in Chennai and we left to Mumbai n the 30th. We were carted to the venue directly from the airport baggage and all for rehearsals and preliminary sound checks.
The performance was planned for about 45 mins and Rahman sir's concert was the last act. I sang Tere Bina. And was present wherever female vocals took place.
We had another rehearsal on the day of the concert and we had just enough time to head to the hotel, get ready and be back.
After the performances of a duo called Josh, dance performances, Nelly Furtado's acts, Shahid Kapur, Koena Mitra and Priyanka's act, we went up on stage. Before our concert, there was a short Drum Line by a group called Global Rhythms and Sivamani Sir.
By the time Rahman sir could come to the stage, the crowd started chanting out for him. And finally Sir came up on to the stage, quite literally. He rose from beneath the stage and was brought up in an elevator. And then the crowd went mad. He was supposed to speak a few lines, to which he said "there is not much to speak now, we will just start playing"
The concert opened with "Pray for me brother". The crowd still didnt quieten down and kept calling out to him. One guy even said "Rahman I love you" and Sir replied "I love you too" to another uproar :) And then he said "This is a very special song, so be quiet", and just like magic everyone did as soon as he started playing on the grand piano which was placed on stage.
The next one was Khalbali. And that was is it. Everywhere it was Khalbali. :D
Madhushree ji was up next with an unplugged version of Ishq Bina. And as soon as she started that song, the people went ecstatic. There was one more song here which I am missing. I ll probably add that on later. Tere Bina was next. It was followed by Humma Humma. And the concert finished with that one. Blaaze entered with this song, saying "Humma Humma can you say Humma" and rapped away and then Sir started with the song. And this was the curtain call. Around the end of this piece, Shahid Kapur, nely Furtado, Koena Mitra, Priyanka Chopra joined us on stage. We had to finish the concert by 12. Unfortunately. Ani, a singer from Armenia was supposed to sing Chandralekha, which couldnt take place thanks to the time constraint, as it was also a live telecast.
I usually lose something in some huge concerts that I am a part of. And this time the casualty were my super favorite 10 day old Gucci sunglasses. I dont understand whats with me.
I got to know Tanvi better in this show. Tanvi is a very talented singer who has sung the title track of Jillunu oru Kadhal. She is someone who has done a whole lot of things. She owns her own business, has worked with World bank, is a stylist. In short, several dimensions to her. Communication with Ani was very tough as her knowledge of English was very sparce. She managed with about 4-5 words and used them a lot. I am told that she is a star in Armenia and she is one helluva singer.
Blaaze anna. Too cool. He is one person who doesnt speak much at all. He is probably the best indigenous Rapper since he is an Indian. He can get the crowd moving in split seconds. He just has to shake his head to the rhythm and probably direct the crowd with his hands. And everyone follows suit. His energy is out of the world and infectious. :D
Madhushree ji is a singer I love, mostly for the timbre of her voice and the way she sings. She has a beautiful smile, and when she came to the stage to perform, she said "I have a secret.. do you you want to know what that is?" and then started with Ishq Bina.
Rayhana Ji and Ishrath ji also sang in this concert. Rayhana ji is a superb dancer and both of them have a super sense of humour :)
Sivamani sir wore this instrument in steel probably around his neck, which comes down to the stomach. And he kinda scratches on them in rhythm with lapel like (as far as I could discern) hand pieces (?). I dont know what it is called, but it looks like an armour all with its corrugated exterior. The first time I saw it, I thought it was a style statement. Then I realized it was a sound statement. Sivamani sir was playing on it back stage and Shahid Kapur happened to quip that if no one will look at him if Sivamani sir were to play that on stage. He was pretty amazed and couldnt understand how he made rhythm by just scratching. Quote unquote.
Sivamani sir was on the percussions with the group Global Rhythms joining in.
Mr Satish, Mr Chetan were also on the keys. Mr Raja was also on the percussion. Mr Srinivasamurthy was the conductor.
Rahman Sir. There is so much to learn. Every single time. Though I have performed with Sir before, this was a whole different experience. And a live concert with Sir is some 10,00,000 times different from everything else. No matter how high the tensions rise, he is always cool, calming people down and telling singers in particular not to worry, and telling them they will do good. This one time, I am left with no words to express myself.
I met a few gentlemen from Rahman sir's fan group. It was pretty late by the time we went home on the day of the rehearsals, round 1 in the night. I happened to mention that as long as I am singing, it doesnt matter how late it is, or whether I would get sleep or food. They said they would die to be there in our place, working with Sir. Made my realize then that there are several hundreds of thousands out there who want to sing for Rahman siror work with him at least once. I sent a silent prayer at that moment to the Gods above. One that I have a mother who made my voice the way it is now and for everything else, and for the oppurtunities that I have been given. And at that moment in time, with Rahman sir in particular.
Also want to thank Mr Vijay, Mr Gopal and Ms Elizabeth from Rapport. Mr Vijay and Mr Gopal are the ones who started Rahman sir's fan group and Elizabeth was the one I spoke to innumerable times and she was patient enough to clear all my doubts!!!
I did take quite a few pictures and you can view them on my Photo blog.
Singing. And in Rahman Sir' concert. Nokia New Year's Eve in Mumbai rocked! And I am super glad I was a part of it.
Rehearsals happened in a hectic pace a couple of days before the show in Chennai and we left to Mumbai n the 30th. We were carted to the venue directly from the airport baggage and all for rehearsals and preliminary sound checks.
The performance was planned for about 45 mins and Rahman sir's concert was the last act. I sang Tere Bina. And was present wherever female vocals took place.
We had another rehearsal on the day of the concert and we had just enough time to head to the hotel, get ready and be back.
After the performances of a duo called Josh, dance performances, Nelly Furtado's acts, Shahid Kapur, Koena Mitra and Priyanka's act, we went up on stage. Before our concert, there was a short Drum Line by a group called Global Rhythms and Sivamani Sir.
By the time Rahman sir could come to the stage, the crowd started chanting out for him. And finally Sir came up on to the stage, quite literally. He rose from beneath the stage and was brought up in an elevator. And then the crowd went mad. He was supposed to speak a few lines, to which he said "there is not much to speak now, we will just start playing"
The concert opened with "Pray for me brother". The crowd still didnt quieten down and kept calling out to him. One guy even said "Rahman I love you" and Sir replied "I love you too" to another uproar :) And then he said "This is a very special song, so be quiet", and just like magic everyone did as soon as he started playing on the grand piano which was placed on stage.
The next one was Khalbali. And that was is it. Everywhere it was Khalbali. :D
Madhushree ji was up next with an unplugged version of Ishq Bina. And as soon as she started that song, the people went ecstatic. There was one more song here which I am missing. I ll probably add that on later. Tere Bina was next. It was followed by Humma Humma. And the concert finished with that one. Blaaze entered with this song, saying "Humma Humma can you say Humma" and rapped away and then Sir started with the song. And this was the curtain call. Around the end of this piece, Shahid Kapur, nely Furtado, Koena Mitra, Priyanka Chopra joined us on stage. We had to finish the concert by 12. Unfortunately. Ani, a singer from Armenia was supposed to sing Chandralekha, which couldnt take place thanks to the time constraint, as it was also a live telecast.
I usually lose something in some huge concerts that I am a part of. And this time the casualty were my super favorite 10 day old Gucci sunglasses. I dont understand whats with me.
I got to know Tanvi better in this show. Tanvi is a very talented singer who has sung the title track of Jillunu oru Kadhal. She is someone who has done a whole lot of things. She owns her own business, has worked with World bank, is a stylist. In short, several dimensions to her. Communication with Ani was very tough as her knowledge of English was very sparce. She managed with about 4-5 words and used them a lot. I am told that she is a star in Armenia and she is one helluva singer.
Blaaze anna. Too cool. He is one person who doesnt speak much at all. He is probably the best indigenous Rapper since he is an Indian. He can get the crowd moving in split seconds. He just has to shake his head to the rhythm and probably direct the crowd with his hands. And everyone follows suit. His energy is out of the world and infectious. :D
Madhushree ji is a singer I love, mostly for the timbre of her voice and the way she sings. She has a beautiful smile, and when she came to the stage to perform, she said "I have a secret.. do you you want to know what that is?" and then started with Ishq Bina.
Rayhana Ji and Ishrath ji also sang in this concert. Rayhana ji is a superb dancer and both of them have a super sense of humour :)
Sivamani sir wore this instrument in steel probably around his neck, which comes down to the stomach. And he kinda scratches on them in rhythm with lapel like (as far as I could discern) hand pieces (?). I dont know what it is called, but it looks like an armour all with its corrugated exterior. The first time I saw it, I thought it was a style statement. Then I realized it was a sound statement. Sivamani sir was playing on it back stage and Shahid Kapur happened to quip that if no one will look at him if Sivamani sir were to play that on stage. He was pretty amazed and couldnt understand how he made rhythm by just scratching. Quote unquote.
Sivamani sir was on the percussions with the group Global Rhythms joining in.
Mr Satish, Mr Chetan were also on the keys. Mr Raja was also on the percussion. Mr Srinivasamurthy was the conductor.
Rahman Sir. There is so much to learn. Every single time. Though I have performed with Sir before, this was a whole different experience. And a live concert with Sir is some 10,00,000 times different from everything else. No matter how high the tensions rise, he is always cool, calming people down and telling singers in particular not to worry, and telling them they will do good. This one time, I am left with no words to express myself.
I met a few gentlemen from Rahman sir's fan group. It was pretty late by the time we went home on the day of the rehearsals, round 1 in the night. I happened to mention that as long as I am singing, it doesnt matter how late it is, or whether I would get sleep or food. They said they would die to be there in our place, working with Sir. Made my realize then that there are several hundreds of thousands out there who want to sing for Rahman siror work with him at least once. I sent a silent prayer at that moment to the Gods above. One that I have a mother who made my voice the way it is now and for everything else, and for the oppurtunities that I have been given. And at that moment in time, with Rahman sir in particular.
Also want to thank Mr Vijay, Mr Gopal and Ms Elizabeth from Rapport. Mr Vijay and Mr Gopal are the ones who started Rahman sir's fan group and Elizabeth was the one I spoke to innumerable times and she was patient enough to clear all my doubts!!!
I did take quite a few pictures and you can view them on my Photo blog.
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