Sunday, July 03, 2005

Someone up there, whoever it is, has a demented sense of humour.
A friend of mine lost her Father to a heart attack a couple of days ago. She was a very quiet kid during school. Hardly ever spoke, except to maybe answer the teacher's questions. Which anyway, she was not at the receiving end of at most times.
She reached out on orkut one fine day, I had even forgotten, if she didn't have a different name. Jamuna Maruth. I never knew she could write. And never, ever thought it would be this good. One more rule... Never judge a person's language from how they do during English class during school.

Its wicked how, you are given something, and then it is snatched away. Cruelly. And then we have to nurse our broken soul and say it was all for the best. And learn from it. God!!! Not another learning experience. Sometimes you have a say in it, and sometimes you don't. This is the time, when we need our parents most. You have grown up, have come to the level when parents sit across the table and speak to you, treat you as an equal, even though deep down, for a father, his girl is still and will always be his little girl. Who has to be protected, saved from the big, bad world. Usually the first to lift the kid, when she falls down and grazes her knee. And girls are always special. And how do I know all this ...?? God knows. My Father was never there. And what about her mom? How's life going to be, when she has run all through to get her children to this time, and from now on she can relax a little bit, put her feet up, and when she needs the companion, to drink the afternoon tea with, and laugh and have tiny squabbles, see grandchildren..... the space next to her; its empty. My heart goes out to her a lot more. Because, now we have almost got our wings, we shall fly out of our nest, and make our own ones. And her nest will be empty. When she needs the support, when she needs the hand that can steady her when she falters, when she needs that hand that can take her up the stairs when the lift is not working, the space next to her is empty.

But maybe, now, he is at a better position to guide his wife and his daughter, and be their guardian angel. Yes, they can't see him, but this time round, he has nothing else to do than see them all the time. And watch over them. When someone close to us passes on, to another realm, I believe that they become our link to God. God works through them too. Its easier for God to take care of us that way, through our own family maybe?

This is just to tell Jam, that this too shall pass. And there shall be light. A purer, whiter, cleaner, more beautiful light, to encircle, encompass, and cocoon. In which, she can revel in and grow. And evolve. And that I am with her in her time of sorrow. And I am also in a small way, going through what she is going through.

Like a line in the Beatles song "I am he and you are he, and you are me and we are all together".
So I am she and she is me. Take care Jam. You will survive this, and you will live a wonderful life that no one has ever lived before. Brace Yourself girl. May God be with you.
Actually, your Dad is with you.


Krish said...

Sorry to know about your friend's father's demise. Losses like these, although inevitable, yet are always accompanied by many questions, heartaches and memories. And give us new meaning and insight into things that we think we already know.

Sriram said...

My condolences to your friend. ANd nice to see you back to your blogging ways :)

Jamuna said...

i was a little angry wid you for not calling me, but now i realize, that i could not have asked for a bigger response... thank you dear... thanks for all your words and support. i'll never forget this

Chinmayi Sripada /Chinmayee said...

I was not supposed to call you on a friday or a saturday. Some tradition. I read your mail late.

Chinmayi Sripada /Chinmayee said...

And I guess I am not that good when I am talking.. better this way.

Jamuna said...

not good at talking eh? then will u call me and sing?? ;)