Thursday, February 15, 2007

I am back to hosting on Television. On Vijay TV.

I will be hosting Airtel Super Singer Junior this time. I am looking forward to newer experiences and a lot of children! Hoping and praying this will go well.

My show on Aahaa 91.9 has been going good. The experience is different. Quire an experience because the only way to communicate is by my voice. I am learning to manage slurs in speech and hiccups as well. Breathing in between. All the jazz. Talking on radio is a completely different game altogether. I see that it is not easy. If what I say is scripted, it sounds like that. Like I am reading out.. even if I write myself what I want to say. I learn that it requires presence of mind to respond in a proper manner to people who speak to you. I have my set of regular callers now, which feels wonderful. I also realize I have a whole range of different ways of talking. Why I take on so many personas is a mystery. But it happens subliminally. Its not a conscious shift in modulations. I have not made any decisions on the way I HAVE to sound in my show yet. I am taking it as it comes. There are days when I am reflective, days when I am energetic, days when I am physically zapped, days when I m joyous and it reflects in my show. I don't really know whether I want to veil all that all the time. Of course I cant carry around a morose tone if and when I am emotionally down.

One of the things I have to manage is hunger. 3 hours non stop between 12 and 3 pm. We are not allowed to take even water inside the studio, and my stomach starts protesting. Loudly. I do get some respite in between for a few minutes. But other than this hiccup, I am having a great time.

I watched Guru for the 4th time today. :D With mom and colleagues. At Inox. Pretty cool. Its amazing to listen to the way Tere Bina opens in the movie.. Life is good. :)

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Kumgumam Interview

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

I fall, I fly. My skin is dry and all that I can do is just be led. I no longer have a free will. I have been stuck all my life, not able to go anywhere, do what I want to. Then one fine day, I decided to break away. To run away. To fly away. That I did. I had a companion. I didn't know where to go, How to go, since I had never been on my own. But now I was free. My companion told me where to go. And I did. I skipped around, sometimes sat for a while at one place. And then my friend told me about another beautiful place, I started my journey again. Thus I traveled. I saw lakes, I saw forests, I saw the city, I saw people, I saw houses, I saw homes, I saw buildings and I saw edifices. Sometimes I almost ran into some people. But my friend helped me. He was there all the time. To guide me and to lift me up. And I was glad that I was in his constant care. I wound through new paths..

Then one day, I came to a park. Early morning. It was still slightly cold. And it was windy. It didn't bother me. I have been so happy for a while now that every time I moved, I felt as if my feet never touched the ground. My friend also seemed very energetic today. As I settled myself under a tree, so did my friend. We lapsed into a companionable silence. And watched as one by one, people slowly left the park. Kids and ladies and men. After a while I saw a girl. She looked pale and listless. I couldn't help but look at her. She had a distance look in her eyes. And she seemed to look at nothing in particular. Soon she was the only one left, and she didn't show any signs of leaving. It was my friend and I and that girl. She sat along on the bench, her hands on her lap. Her hair undone. I thought she had beautiful hair. Long and dark. My friend was looking at her too, but he seemed to be knowing why she was here. He smiled at me. We got up, and we went closer. She had sad eyes. She looked sad. And she was crying. Her face was all flushed.
Her sobs were gut wrenching, after a while she was almost gasping for air. Then she stilled for a while. My friend said he had seen several people like that, who came to the park, looking for solitude, looking to be alone looking to cry. He thought she was mourning the loss of something or someone. I knew what it was to be attached. To not be free. To be as if you are almost chained to the people around you. But now I was free. I know no attachment. I am not bound. Its liberating.
I went round to her and sat by her side. But it was almost as if I didn't exist at all. I watched her. She cried and cried and cried. My friend was watching her too. I rose, and I wiped her tear. She kept quiet, she didn't turn or look or want to know who wiped her tear. And then, I suddenly felt very heavy. I felt weighed down. I couldn't bear it. I lay down and I couldn't get up. And slowly the life ebbed out of me. Whatever that was left. I was now going back to where I came from. I knew that I would not see my friend again. But maybe some other time. I loved him deeply. But ours was an unlikely match. He never stayed at one place too long. My face was wet. With my own tears. I would miss him terribly. He smiled at me. It was difficult to describe was kind it was. But he knew perhaps what I was going through. He stayed with me as until I became nothing. Until I was naught. He got up and quietly left. He had to meet several others like me.
For this is the story of a leaf, that broke off from its tree, and was taken along by the wind, with whom she fell in love. She had found love though fleeting. It was never to be.
And she had been the leaf that wiped a tear. And she had been. And she had.