Of school.....

I happened to go through Orkut properly the past couple of days and gave a good look to The Hindu School community therein. There were several posts, some asking which is the best place on campus to have lunch, the last benchers, some famous 'quotes' by teachers, our principal then, Mr V Venkatachalam, about a dear teacher leaving school.

And then it was whooooosh and I was pulled back in time. To a time when we would also aimlessly wander about the corridors, lunching, our throwball games, arguing with the PT sir as to which was foul and which was not, bunking maths class to go to practise for competitions, culturals, our small Ganesha temple, where every friday a section could take the turn in decorating it. There was also this time where our super princi had this idea of Education through Experience, I guess. Have forgotten the name. We all went to other cities, and had some sort of an exchang program with the children of a chosen school in that city. My section went to Hyderabad, and the 11th standard went to Andaman and Nicobar Islands. All of us heard several stories from the time they set sail.

Our teachers were a wonderful lot. There was this classmate, Aditi, who used to be a great story teller. So if it so happens that English class happens in the last hour, she will come up and tell a ghost story. She was brilliant. And then if a teacher came to know that some guys in class were good imitating, then they ll be called up to 'perform'.

Most mornings, we would be standing out in the sun for assembly. I used to be in the shade, while others baked and some feeble ones fainted thanks to the sun. I ll be standing near the stage, to lead the school prayer. At that time I remember that I wanted to know how it would be to faint. I have never fainted. How dramatic I thought. To faint and have the whole school fussing over you and you'd probably be sent home, escorted, in a car. If you came to school by cycle, you ll probably have to walk back to school the next day which would be torture. But I also remember I didnt like being home on school days. Then particularly on very rainy days, I ll make sure to go to school, cos there'll be some enthu types like me who will also end up going. The class wil prolly have 10-15 people. And we will all have fun, teachers included.

We also had the teachers playing throwball, and the students were the training committee. When I first picked it up in 6th std., I was a puny thing, then I thought I d probably never have the power to break a few fingers. And there was this time, where every puny throw of mine was not taken by the opponent team, who were the 'A' team. I suddenly became wanted, and in that After-4 pm game, we ended up being the winners.

I had a great time with all the teachers including our maths teachers, though the subject was a horror, and it continued to be so until I relinquished it in 11th std.

Also one of the prime past-times a lot of students indulged in, was who had a crush on who, who got a love letter from who, who said yes and who said no and why. Thinking back, juvenile as it was, those made some great memories.

Culturals. Hep time. Cut class for practise, bunk school for culturals, check out guys/girls from other schools, eat out, especially wait and check out the fashion show even though we had nothing to do with it, come back to school with prizes and get them to be given to us again by the principal at the next assembly. Sometimes it would so happen that people from my group wuold go up some 7 times to receive prizes from various events. And if prizes from two or three events get clubbed, at the end of the assembly we will be subjected to roaring applause, but back in class, some would actually say why cant you guys give us a break and stop winning? So that we can come back to class and not roast in the sun? Of course other days if the first hour was a boring one, we'd be thanked since half of it would be eaten up, thanks to roll call and what not. Sometimes one fridays students would have to 'serve time' as PROs at the library, or the office. We used to battle it out for the library because post lunch and until the last bell, we could be there and read as much as we wanted. Office was slightly boring, all you had to do was sit outside the school office, probably read and take circulars to classes. And the boys used that time to quietly sight-adichufy or so I heard. And so did the girls :D

Those were the times. Happy go lucky and the biggest bother was to be prepared for next day's classes and battle with one's own tough subjects. Friends and teachers and classes and project work, and the occasional trip out. And there I was happily remembering those days when DING DONG BLLLAAAAM, mail from a classmate, saying she is getting married. When I spoke to friends that day about her getting married, I also came to know that two others had also married. And last year.

Suddenly you realize you are all grown up, have to get married, raise a family, get a better job and a still better job and yet another better job. Time just flies under your feet and you realize there is very less time. And so much to do. As we grow, spread our wings and fly to distant lands, we stop by on a branch somewhere to catch our breath, rest our wings, and look back on the journey we have made, the skies we have seen, the oceans we have flown over. To the time when we had smaller wings but cleaner hearts. To the time when we could perch only on lower branches but had higher ideals, flew shorter distances but had a cleaner vision. We have forgotten to take anything at face value and read too much into everything, what did he mean when he said that, why is this person ignoring me, why did she do this and why did he do that, how do I get this done even though I know its gonna ruin someone else's life?

Sometimes, when a child holds your hand, or a child runs to you and holds your leg, or when it rests its little head on your shoulder, the innocence of it all, the love of it all just touches you. And when you clasp the child's hand, or hold its head so that it doesnt roll off your shoulder, you wish that you could go back to that time. Where nothing else matters other than love. And you reciprocate only to that language. When we are clean slates, and when hearts are pure as the driven snow.

A solitary tear rolled of the bird's eye, but the journey of several thousand miles has but begun. And there will come a time when it will protect fledglings under its strong wings, and impart to them, the need for strength for weathering storms, the need for hope, and the need to love. The bird looked toward that horizon again, later it will look at it with different eyes, but now it was time. It flapped its wings and resumed its journey..... its journey towards the sun, its journey towards brilliance, its journey toward light.

Mom, B and I went to see Krrish tonight. Booked tickets online once again, I am liking this. And when the guy came with pop corn in the interval, he says Singer Chinmayi?? Your autograph please? So signed something in the darkness across some pink slip which I know is a receipt for whatever we bought and the goods came to the right person.

Hrithik Roshan is one great guy. No I dont have a crush on him, but I totally admire his work. And his hard work just shines through in all that he has done. Its brilliant. His dancing talents are unmatchable. Even if he is executing some step wherein he flies up in the air and lands back, each micro movement is in beat, when he takes off, when he is in air, and when he lands back and dissolves into the next step. Great structure. And excellent form. I dont know if I have technically become his fan, but I definitely admire is will power and his gut. Great going Hrithik, GO!!! The movie as a whole was very Bollywood. I was stunned with the way the trailer was cut, I waiting for this movie with bated breath, but when I did leave my breath out it was not a gasp of 'wow' more like a 'huh'? Well I expected too much. But I must say that its a worthy. Mom loved the movie. And I think I messed up with the order. You shouldnt see an Indian Super hero movie with special effects after X Men 3

And as for my swimming today, the lesser said, the better.

New Skill Of the Month

I am learning to swim. I started yesterday. And my friend from Bombay.. she has come down. I have met her in person only now, but we have known each other for several years. Maybe about 8. We made countless plans to meet up in each others cities but it just never happened. Even when I went to Bombay a couple of times, something always went wrong.
So we did finally meet. And I have found a friend to be with for sometime. Since my best friend is not in the country. Its been about 5 years or more now. Mom, B and I went to X Men 3 together. And I thought Bird Man is cool which mom and B immediately booed down. But it was great fun.
Yesterday, I took my dip in the pool. One faltering step after another through the little red ladder, into the pool. Its not like I haven't been in a pool before. I tried to learn to swim in 8th std., in the IIT pool, it didnt work out.
And finally just happened that B said why not swim now? And she said she would teach me. I jumped at the idea, from land into water.
So there I was. Getting used to having a reasonable expanse of make-believe blue water all round me with a nice mosaic flooring. Within five minutes of being in the pool, B taught me how to float. And I stared floating to and fro, from one shallow side to another. Kick myself off from the wall of the fool so that I am 'propelled' and some how land on the other side thanks to everyone else swimming, even though I was going across and everyone else was going lengthwise. General paddling in the pool, and I was outta the water. When I stepped out it was as if the pool was saying dont go, dont go, and it was pulling me back with watery hands, feet, whatever. Its an effort to get outta the pool actually. Back to the changing room, the scene was horror. Towels were lying everywhere. Come on, do people dont even know that you are not supposed to drop your wet towel on the floor, and make into a mop??? I detest this behaviour of people misusing public property. I picked up the towels, and put hung them on the nearest door. Sheesh. I only hope they used disinfectant. Done with showering, was humming and then came to B's room. And stayed there overnight. Ate some food. We ordered some gravy which was supposed to be 'so hot that it will set us on fire' and when it did reach us, it wasnt even hot enough like the wick of the cracker, which refused to go off. So there we were, with make believe Mughlai food and then we ordered ice cream. B was categorical that her multi falvoured ice cream should not have pista ice cream. And when my Ice cream arrived which was 'fond remembrance' it was actually like cold soup. Ice cold soup of chocolate, strawberry and vanilla. And it was served in some kinda bowl which looked like a finger bowl. B's ice cream made sure it came with Pista, in some kinda Lassi Glass, and the ice cream was melting all around the rim, and over. There is more to this cold story. Lassi glass with ice cream has big chunks of apple and pineapple. And the bottom of the glass has jam. Not Jelly. JAM. So this one was called English Ecstasy. Far from English and far from Ecstatic. So after this misadventure, I started reading on P G Wodehouse, Laughing Gas. And drifted off to sleep.

Day 2.
Back to swimming pool. Took my own towel. Saw the same people. Today was happier. Steps were better. I got swimming goggles. And I liked the feeling of seeing underwater. So there I was trying to bob my head up so I could breathe and ended up sinking each time. There was another lady who was telling me how to do it, and she said just keep floating for two more days and get used to the water. Me was like ok. And then by 8:40 the pool was empty except for us. So B came and helped me breathe by trying to keep me afloat. So I tried, coughed and sputtered mostly. And didnt like the idea of water creeping up my nose. And the feeling. But I made some headway in the trying-to-breathe-my-poking-my-head-outta-water exercise.

Then I just went into floating mode. It was a pretty windy day today. And I could feel the wind blowing above me sometimes. And that was a nice feeling. And then, floating feels super good. I just checked out the floor below, the way it was made, looked sideways, wall. Looked the otherside, water. And I couldnt see the other wall. Slightly freaked me out. Got scared and stood up. And then went back again. Looked this way and that inside water and got used to it. If we can float, then we should technically be able to walk or sit on water. There must be a way. There should be a different technique of doing it. A different breathing exercise.
I have heard of Yogis being able to wear close to nothing and not feel the bone-chilling temperatures of the Himalayas or the heat of super tropic zones. Apparently they all controlled it through breathing. I want to go trek the Himalayas some day. It will be good to do it as a group. I had a great experience trekking up the Vaishno Devi Hill. If we can call it a hill. To me it was pretty way up. And that is where I saw the first snow. When I saw it first, I thought someone had washed clothes, and it was foam. The snow that I saw was like crushed ice more or less. Thereafter in Switzerland. Good fun.

Coming back to floating, it was wonderful to feel water around me. I had this phobia .... if I pour water over my head, I gotta see around. I cant keep my eyes closed. From when I was a kid. So mom used to have the toughest time giving me a head bath. I must have drowned in some previous birth. So this Swimming exercise, is one step to coming to terms with my phobia and probably remembering as to what happened that I am scared of water at some level. I dont have a basic phobia, I loving being in there, but I scared of seeing nothing except water after a point in time. Some day I ll go deep sea diving as well.

I think everyone in this world must know how to swim. MUST know.

I booked online for a movie for the first time through www.thecinema.in
I must say that it was damn cool. Sitting at home, booking tickets and just landing up there. The only thing would be to get into the complex and find parking.

We were pretty much bang on time, watched X Men 3. And we also booked the grub that can come to us during interval. So no need to stand in queue, get pushed about and stuff like that. Only the Popcorn that came to us, I thought it was a wee bit stale. But otherwise the concept rocks. You pay an extra 5 bucks for booking online, an extra 10/- if you are choosing your seats and an extra 10 for ordering your food. For about 450 bucks the work was done for the three of us.

And my new crush is the Bird Man in X Men 3 !!!

One of the reasons for blobs of pink in my viewing glasses are the participants in Super Singer. Those who have been filtered so far, have been super sports. A couple had to withdraw. I am stunned at the way they retain their camaraderie and friendliness and keep cheering other participant's performances. There is no feelings of jealousy or untoward competitiveness. Each knows what he / she is worth and they just give their all in each performance. Several contestants have grown in their musicianship. Some keep reinventing themselves. When I think probably this person might not come back the next round, bang - he bounces back so much that the wall breaks. To such an extent that I am left with my mouth gaping and even if a fly took residence in their for a while I wouldnt have known. Sometimes people just crumble under pressure, and others shine out. Just like a diamond cant be easily extracted from the heart of the stone. The unwanted outsides have to be ground, chiselled, cut.... actually the diamond goes through torture. But when it does emerge in all its splendid glory, it has no equal. More than anything else, I find that the participants at this stage, all of them have their head on their shoulders. They know their minuses and accept it. And they work to fortify their pluses more.

One of the things I regret sometimes is that I never really had a group of friends. And now, I have met a few people and Super Singer has really made me meet a lot of people. I am more in touch with the people of my age group and of course I am the joke of the group. Most of the time, I cant get double entendres. Actually there seem to be several entendres to one particular word. But then I have a good time laughing along, one at my own dumbness, for which I am not sorry in this case and another because at the end of the day, my system has released enough endorphins to last ages :)

Several times, people have had trouble to look through the celeb tag and interact with me on a normal level. And I also wonder "what celeb tag"? And the first time that people took the guts to speak to me as their classmate or something were the final 15-20 participants. I have learnt a lot, about people, about myself, about judging, about music, about hosting a show, about speaking in tamil non stop, about goofing up and taking some 15 re takes, about the travails about conducting a show of this magnitude, how people keep their cool when all around there is mayhem. Several things.

And I eventhough one of the participants here will be another playback singer in the industry, that is the one super singer, and the others who have come this far, definitely stand a chance in making it soon, I believe that when we meet again, in the course of time, at shows, or recording when we work together, the easy rapport and the goodness that the participants have will remain. And so I pray.

How tough....

is to be a clean slate? A transparent person, someone uncomplicated and not complicate other situations? Several times I wonder why we all have to muck a lot of things up. Right from school, even in younger days I have known a few children having the knack to mess up things in other students project work, tell lies about some others and get them punished, and as we grow, it reaches different levels.
People fall in the way of others so that something good in their view doesnt happen to them. I have seen it happen to others, and most of the times you have to remain a mute observer. There is nothing that you can say, or do, and only hope that justice will have an upper hand. And sometimes, probably it is necessary for the person on the receiving end to go through such an experience. I read this quote somewhere "Please God, I have had enough of learning experiences" I can understand the thought process behind that now. Several magazines write on how to deal with bitchy co employees, those who steal your ideas in the work place and make them their own, make sure someone is ousted... at such times you wonder how these guys are happy while some are always at the receiving end. I guess somewhere, all this stems from insecurity at some level. Why cant those who spend the time to ruin others' lives spend the same working on the betterment of their own? Work on improving their own brains, skills, so that they have a justifiable edge over anyone else? Why cant people concentrate on their own paths instead of taking the trouble to walk up another's, place boulders on them, make sure they fall over and then probably come back to their own paths? These are times I wish that I went back to when I looked at the world with pink glasses. Now the world is definitely grey, if not black at times, with blobs of pink here and there. Maybe so that I appreciate the pink more, I treasure it more.

More than anything else, you have to be scared because you are a brilliant person. Whether the others will let you exist. But then, we all have to live in the hope that things will be better and that one day all bad things will end. And that justice will prevail'in the end'. But what about in between?

How tough....

is to be a clean slate? A transparent person, someone uncomplicated and not complicate other situations? Several times I wonder why we all have to muck a lot of things up. Right from school, even in younger days I have known a few children having the knack to mess up things in other students project work, tell lies about some others and get them punished, and as we grow, it reaches different levels.
People fall in the way of others so that something good in their view doesnt happen to them. I have seen it happen to others, and most of the times you have to remain a mute observer. There is nothing that you can say, or do, and only hope that justice will have an upper hand. And sometimes, probably it is necessary for the person on the receiving end to go through such an experience. I read this quote somewhere "Please God, I have had enough of learning experiences" I can understand the thought process behind that now. Several magazines write on how to deal with bitchy co employees, those who steal your ideas in the work place and make them their own, make sure someone is ousted... at such times you wonder how these guys are happy while some are always at the receiving end. I guess somewhere, all this stems from insecurity at some level. Why cant those who spend the time to ruin others' lives spend the same working on the betterment of their own? Work on improving their own brains, skills, so that they have a justifiable edge over anyone else? Why cant people concentrate on their own paths instead of taking the trouble to walk up another's, place boulders on them, make sure they fall over and then probably come back to their own paths? These are times I wish that I went back to when I looked at the world with pink glasses. Now the world is definitely grey, if not black at times, with blobs of pink here and there. Maybe so that I appreciate the pink more, I treasure it more.

More than anything else, you have to be scared because you are a brilliant person. Whether the others will let you exist. But then, we all have to live in the hope that things will be better and that one day all bad things will end. And that justice will prevail'in the end'. But what about in between?

I love long drives...We usually drive down to Bangalore. I take my dance classes there. And thankfully this time went without any mishaps. We came back today in 3 and a half hours flat and we stepped within our house within 4! Guess the idea of driving back on a Sunday after 3 in the afternoon is a good idea.

This is usually the time for contemplation, and though I dont keep humming, because one, the noise of the machine is way too high, and its better for professional voices to not sing in moving vehicles. Mom and I usually talk about stuff that I did, I sang, or things I should have done in a given situation. I love those times. And the rest is spent in silence. Watching some vehicles zip past me. Watching some people walking by. The greenery around.

This time, the weather in Bangalore was pretty sleepy. And dreary. I am more for the sunny weather. So much dullness around gets to me. And I can easily lapse into a depressive silence and mope. I finished rehearsing two items in Dance class and started learning a new piece.

I meet a lot of people. Small wonder this. Sometimes, I am amazed as to how many are made, there is a lot to imbibe from them, some are bearable, and a few are not. There had been a phase when I looked at the world with pink glasses alone. And then it shifted to a grey view. And thankfully now, there is some technicolor again. I see now as to why I didnt have several friends. Or a close group so to say. I dont do what most people my age do. Because I think most of the time, I might be freaking people in my own age group out. I dont understand common parlance of my age. I have the duh look most of the times, but after Super Singer, my general knowledge is getting better. And maybe because I am a singer and then I tend to be preoccupied with learning most of the time, I am not taken as an easy member of one. I would probably be better off as a come-and-go kind. Even then, I see that a lot of topics are not discussed when I am around within my friends whom I have known for years since school. In the beginning I found it very strange, I still do, but now I am used to it. Probably why I am comfortable in the company of a lot of older people because they primarily look at me as a person and probably as a singer next.

I wonder if the state of affairs is like this for me, I wonder what it is like for people who are super famous. It must be a tough act to pul through.

And as the curtains draw to a close on another day of my life, I look forward to a tomorow, which will make me a better person than I am today, a better musician than I am today, and take me a step closer to that which I seek.

My Latest Songs

Have sung two songs in KD, under Yuvan Shankar Raja's music.
Listen to them here.

I will be meeting a friend with whom I have been only speaking with for the past seven years or so. Each time we would make plans to go to the other's city of residence, but we never managed. Even when I went to Bombay for a short while, for a day or something, to get the Schengen Visa, it wasnt possible to meet up then either. And finally looks like our time has come, and we get to meet. Its going to be a pretty long stay for about 20 days and we sure are gonna have a lot of fun :) Am looking forward to it.

Talking of friends and catching up, I have met people on orkut with whom I have lost touch ... I have met seniors, juniors, long lost neighbours and predominantly people who like my work.

When you are a kid, you fight for all stupid reasons, and after so long, its great to reminisce on those idiosynchrasies, and have look at the other in new light. Classmates who had been damn quiet are now 'chatterboxes' and those who were the life of class are sombre souls. Its strange sometimes as to how life changes us, and the role that friends play in our life.

In childhood we have to play with them, be with them, all the time. Fight, make up. All that. As we grow older, exams are passed on glass after glass of coffee (I used to have 10 glasses a day in 10th std.,), snacks and no sleep, (tough to have a finly honed mind and a finely honed body) , my best friend Yasas was my call-in-at-anytime-for-doubts person. I used to call up with the silliest queries and she used to be sooo patient explaining all that, with her all, even though most of the time it never penetrated my thick skull. Math is still my biggest nightmare ever. Then trips outside.... there was this one trip to Dizzee World. There was a time, when I and Yasas had fallen out, maybe for a year or two, but that trip was the one which brought us back together. We all had 'partners' to go to the trip with, but at the end of the day, I think I as going on a lot of rides with Yasas. Then there was this ride called the Ranger which used to go upside down and I was praying to save my life, or so one of my classmates recently said. Why she cant forget it is because she was hoping that my prayers would save her too.... Also one more thing which was very interesting is trying to score with the newest entrant in class. And there was this fight sometimes as to who will go with the birthday girl/guy to the other classes to give chocolate to the other teachers. Escape from class for a while, butter up birthday kid and get a few extra chocolates in the bargain.. Though I personally dont remember accompanying anyone...

When I joined school, Yasaswini and Shankar were the two most brilliant guys in class. An they remained that way until they left school. Shankar came All India first in CBSE 12th boards, yep you read right, and Yasaswini got into NUS, majored in Life Sciences, and I think the way she is giong she will find a cure for cancer. And in 6th std., I went upto them and told them, "how come you score so much? You dont even look intelligent"(!!) God knows what was going on my harebrain.
Trip to Hyderabad, in an exchange program, stayed at a school for a few days, had great fun, and at that time Yasas was my partner. 9th and 10th passed in whirl. And then I quit regular school and joined NOS, no attendance but I can still finish 12th with the same CBSE board. I never made friends in NOS as I had made in Hindu Senior. We had the best Principal ever, Mr V Venkatachalam, super dynamic man, and unfortunately for the other batches, he left the school when we finished 12th.

I am not in touch with everyone. Now people are busy settling down with work, lives, building houses, building homes. Its amazing, when at a point in time we thought we cant survive without our friends, that we have drifted slowly but surely, but somewhere down the line, there is an unseen skein which links us. I have thought of classmates I wasnt even close to, outta the blue. Wonder what they are doing, stuff like that. We grow up, grow apart, and life keeps grinding. And by the time, we all catch up properly, and bond as we used to as kids, we'd have probably retired, and then we would probably talk about our grandchildren blogging about their friends..

I know I wanted to blog about something, but now that the window is open, I forgot what..

for now I am super excited about watching MI-3 today, before most people in India :)
Lets say its the usual kiddy thing about getting something first before anyone else ... yoo hooooo

Actually gotta lot to blog about Super Singer.. me is having super fun.... for me its super fun... :D
Me happy and joyful