Monday, April 02, 2007

I am free. I am the meaning of being free. I go wherever I want to. I can be wherever I want to. At will. I am a superpower. I am willful, I am tempestuous, I just am.
Once I was made to enter a territory I had never known before, which was quite strange because, there is almost nothing that I have not seen in the world around me. I entered and exited. I played around. I played hide and seek with myself. Nothing new here as well. Sigh. What is it like to know everything, be everywhere, having seen everything, there seems to be nothing to know. I know what it is like. I have nothing much to do. And I am my own master. No one tells me what to do. No one has even tried.
So I checked out my new playground a couple of more times on my own. Same old thing.
Then one day, it became someone else's possession. But then, when has that ever deterred me? No one can prosecute me for going wherever I want to. Pffftt.
And there I was back to my playground to see if something was new. Nothing really seemed different. And suddenly I saw that I couldn't go out the way I wanted to. It seemed like someone was doing it. I pushed. I heaved. Nothing. But then hey, where I am, there is always a way. I came out another passage. And it seemed to make a difference. I went back, one door closed, another opened, several closed at the same time, a few opened at the time. Pretty weird I thought. Someone was playing a game with me. Well two can play, I thought. And thus it went. And finally my contender seemed to leave my playground and go. And then all the doors were open. I checked quite a few times. But nah, quite the same. I went my way again. Whistling away here and there. And then I saw that the owner had returned. I felt thrilled. I have someone to play with now. So off I went. And it was the same game, and I had to keep guessing which door would open when. The object was not my winning or losing. It was something new, and it felt great. And I had created something new. And so had he. And both of us felt great at what we had done. He smiled, I smiled as well. I hadn't felt this great in ages.
I had been doing quite the same thing for ages. And the thrill of discovering something new, which I seemed to have altogether forgotten, washed over me anew. I marveled the seashore sometimes. Where the waves wash away all the time. She must be a happier person I thought, because every wave that washed over her was different. She knew. I knew as well. No two waves are the same. And here I am, I used to ponder, everything is the damn same. Nothing is new. But not anymore. I know I can be new, create something new and find myself anew if I wanted to, and not just on my own. I had someone to direct me for a change.
For I had made music.
For I am the air that passed through a flute, and felt liberated by not being free to do as I wished.


Musically Me said...

spectacular !!!!

V said...

Nice, I couldn't guess what your were writing about till I read the last line......


Is it you in both the renditions of Sahana in Sivaji?

Karthik Murali said...

Brilliant!..It must be definitely read twice to get the hang of it and to experience the beauty of the words used..

"tempestuous". now where did u ever get that word?
i have asked all my friends to read this, atleast to increase their vocabs.
i am thinking of taking printouts of all ur writings,and and preserve them for future.
this is really a treasure,and i must say u r gifted.

Aboorva said...

Heard melodies are sweet, but those unheard are sweeter. Nice and well said

Sridhar said...

Really enjoyed this one... Kept on guessing till the very end.. I remember reading something similar in your previous blog. Amazing!!!

adarsh said...

amazing.. u r good writer too apart from nice singer :)

Unknown said...

i guess that i'm the only one to comment nearly a year after the post having got published..just now read it akka,thats why..and my God! wow! you've pretty well personified :)it sound like quite in a poet's point of view.. btw,is this completely your own thought?