Friday, February 15, 2013

Ellipses 1

Are you someone who has sometimes been made to feel guilty just because you are 'running after money'? More so if you are a woman? 

Often times I find people who seem to have a knack of bringing you down if you are doing well for yourself in some sphere *and* are happy in your own space. 

When I see advise being doled out to others (I am usually not at the receiving end) I usually observe the person who is advising and the person who is at the receiving end. Sometimes I have seen such 'advice' which goes down to allege that the other is actually leading quite a 'worthless' life, all in the opinion of the advisor, of course. 

There are some who are strong enough to take all that with a bag of salt even though if this advise comes with a curse or two ("if you don't stop running after success/career/money you are going to suffer ... " you know, you get the drift) And there are some who do get influenced by all this.

I was staying over with friends a couple of weeks ago when I was traveling. Soon we were talking about a lot of things including the Delhi incident. My friends husband, A, said that the average man today is very threatened by the woman who is educated, comes from rural areas to the cities and finds financial independence. He doesn't know how to handle this woman who is no longer is turning to him, from under a veil, to ask "When will you give me the permission to walk the several kilometers to bring our family drinking water?" And today more women are choosing to be independent and single. Like someone said on Twitter, its better to be single and alone than be alone in a relationship.

I am now waiting with bated breath for the "FEMINIST" word and the like to be attached to me. Having an opinion about something also means I am opinionated, BTW :) That said, I would also give the benefit of doubt to someone who believes opining and being opinionated mean the same.

Anyway I'll humbly suggest this. If you are a man or a woman. Pursuing a career that you wanted, working on getting the lifestyle you aspire or simply doing that which you set out to do and most importantly, if you are happy doing all that, don't let anyone, ever, make you feel guilty.

I will also add that to find out if you are happy doing the things you are currently doing you would need to spend time with yourself or talk to someone. It could be a co-passenger on your next trip somewhere, the kind of people you suddenly get along with at random and ask them questions on things that may be running in your mind. (Of course, be careful with sharing personal information and all that, more so follow your gut instinct. Learn to heed it) I have also known that talking to a stranger also means that because they don't know you at all, they might end up lighting up a path. And I say lighting up a path because I feel that at any given point in time there are some roads that seem to have the floodlights on them and some roads which are completely buried in a thicket. Someone needs to show us that it exists.

Do what you want to do. Do what your heart tells you to do. Be happy. Guilt-free.

P.S.: On a slightly different note, you may also want to read this article. 


Akila said...

You will always remain a huge inspiration in my life. May you inspire, touch others life like the way you did to me. I am so proud to be your fan. Wish you many more sucess, happiness and peace for you. May God be with you and guide you in every step of yours. Take care.

Roshni said...

I read this again & again. So much wisdom.
Thanks for the post!

Anonymous said...

Since you have talked @ the Delhi incident, a few days back I happened to watch @ a girl named Amrita - she participated in One-Billion-Rising program in Kerala and on her way back, she had to face some rogues who were trying to tease her inspite of her dad, mom were with her. When her dad was attacked, she couldn't take it anymore and punched a man in his nose. But now a case has been filed against her. Can you imagine? I have no idea where our country is heading to.

Pavithra said...

Wow, such a nice post chinmayi. i am becoming a huge fan (follower) for you not only for your singing but for being a woman which every gal wants to be. God bless you always with peace.