Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Lifted From Aditi's Blog

Written In High School Essays

Hey everyone. Here's a foward a got. Some stuff thats actually been written in high school essays. Its damn funny. Take a look.
  1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
  3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
  4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
  5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  7. He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.
  8. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.
  9. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.
  10. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
  11. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.
  12. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19p.m. at a speed of 35mph.
  13. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
  14. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  15. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.
  16. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work.
  17. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.
  18. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
  19. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
  20. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools.
  21. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.
  22. Her eyes were like limpid pools, only they had forgotten to put in any pH cleanser.
  23. She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs
Copied from Aditi's Blog.... was too good to resist. Aditi is ONE of a kind! ROTFL


Anonymous said...

Nice article, expecting more like this -- by 310805

Anonymous said...

Sorry it's 210885 not 310805

Anonymous said...

Some problem with my keyboard, its 310885

Cogito said...

Nice satire !

Anonymous said...

Really a nice one... and 310885 finally you done it :) but I don't understand what this number 310885 denote...

Jeevan said...

Nice Essays Chinmayi

Anonymous said...

That's a secret, Prakash -- 310885

Chez said...

LOL... nice to read thru. Such forwards are so rare...

Rags said...

LOL...Truly Hilarious...Its in similar lines of "Ashokar Maram Nattar"..Antha maram nandraga valarndhadhu...